bedtime/tv/4 year old/family argument
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|Tue, 05-20-2003 - 12:48am|
However, if I pop a movie (kids movie that is) in (after our bedtime ritual, hugs, kisses, two stories, etc) then he's quiet and is usually asleep within 30 min. And I get to do my homework in peace without having to stay up past midnight. (I work and have to be out of bed at 5:45). This is not my SO's child, but he has lived in our home for over one year, we've been together for two. My son's father and I have joint custody - one week with dad, one week with mom - it works for us, BUT at his dad's he has no routine and gets to go to bed "whenever"-- sleeps w/dad or falls asleep watching tv on the couch. That bothers me quite a bit, but there's not a lot I can do about it. It does create HUGE problems though when he comes home. He doesn't want to sleep alone, and he wants to watch tv when he lays down. My SO thinks that children should not be allowed to watch tv at bedtime, that they should just go to bed and do as they are told, thats it, end of story. If I ignore my sons calls for "Mommy" then he turns hysterical and has a horrible night,gets so upset and upsets the peace in the house. I get angry and irritable, not to mention getting no sleep, no homework done, and causing major problems in my relationship.
I don't have a problem with my kid watching tV to fall asleep. I personally have to watch tv (or just have it on) to fall asleep, but SO is ADAMANT that its not the "right thing to do" and there is no compromising when it comes to Logan watching TV at night. Howver, it's okay that we do it (because we are adults!) He is so hung up on this that I give in, but against my own better judgement. I think that if turning on a TV works and keeps the peace that it's no big deal. In my honest opinion, I don't like the idea of him watching TV at night either, but I'd rather do that then have everyone fighting and upset all the time, all night long. My son asks so nicely if he can and when I say no he just doesn't understand. He begs so pathetically! When he asks me why he can't I have a hard time giving him an answer other than "because "Bob" said so" which of course I would never say. Interestingly enough, it seems to be "oK" with SO to let my son watch tv at night on weekend nights, just not during the week.
I bought him a little radio and let him turn music on so it's not so quiet back in his room, which SO didn't like very much but at least backed down a little bit on.
But is he right? Should kids not be allowed to watch a video at bedtime? Or am I right? That as long as the kid goes to sleep it's no big deal? What do you all think? I appreciate any honest opinions- thanks!