bored at day care

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
bored at day care
4
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 12:43pm

Ok I can't win. My oldest I transitioned from an in home day care to a center based at 3. After a year he was over it and as a result I felt not that much more prepared for kindergarten especially when our town still transitions kids as if they had never gone to school which is a totally different issue. So my oldest I felt 2 years of preschool was pushing it and my youngest can't start kindy until he is 6 so when he turned 3 I wasn't in a rush to move him especially since center based centers around me cost at least $100 more a week then I currently pay and even those on the cheaper side of that scale do not open early enough for DH to take him and I can't get 1 kid to school on one side of town and the other on the other and I am already using half my lunch to come in 30 min earlier to drop oldest off at school.

My day care closed for 2 weeks at xmas and DH took some time off and yesterday was back to reality and my 4 year old LOST it. Dh said it was the MOST pathetic cry. He has always given us some resistance but lately its been BAD and DH and I think he is bored. She mostly has babies, he is the oldest plus he is used to having an older brother and doing bigger kid things.

I feel bad but we are also stuck, Aside from the cost there are waiting lists. I will have more options in the fall and 1 year of streching that budget won't kill us too much and I can look at places that are school year vs year round because I can get him in my oldest camp when he is going into kindy but how do you explain to a 4 year old, hang in there bud. My oldest is cute he keeps telling him that he'd LOVE to trade places and just hang out in a home play and watch TV. For as much as my town eases kids into kindy, by January they pull the rug from under them and never look back with this huge acedemic standards which is another reason I want him to just be a kid. Some of these centers expect so much and they are just kids. Its not their fault mom and dad have to work so it shouldn't be 8 hours of acedemics. I found one place that I want to look at and DH doesn't. Its in a home but it does more centerbased stuff but they also have the kids need to be kids at this age mentality and I like that. DH on the hand doesn't think its THAT much different then he is in.

I just feel bad, the working mom guilt is kicking in BIG time. He literally went through EVERY family memeber who EVER watched him to see if they were availabe. I tried to get from him what was so bad and its almost like he feels the babies are bullying him and tried explained they are just yoinger they don't know better but I can see how it could be ANNOYING to be around infants and toddlers all day...

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 3:03pm
I can sympathize with you totally! That was about the time we transitioned the older one to a center daycare. she was 3 1/2 at the time, we ended up doing 2 drop off and pick ups because I wasn't ready for the younger one at 6 months old to go to such a large daycare, but our in-home daycare the same, mostly babies, a lot of TV, and while she did read to them, sing songs and would work on numbers and letters, we felt it was time. Has your DH visited the home daycare center that you like to see it in operation? If its more structured, but not as pushy about academics, if he can see it in action he may change his mind. Can you point out that there isn't a TV on all day long or that he's not the oldest one and being used as a "babysitter" of sorts also? I bulked for a while at the money aspect of it, but I am so happy in general that we ended up going to the larger daycare. The one advantage I like about it is while they definitely do a lot of academic stuff, they do it in a play based environment, and not until they hit the pre-k and kindergarten ready room do they even start to do more structured things like worksheets or anything. So there's not as much pressure on them. But ya, the price tag is killing us, that's the only reason I am still working full time where I am at...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 12:44pm

OMG talk about sticker shock, this place cost more then the centers. Its like every place I call it gets higher and higher. Personally I won't pay more a day care in a house then I will in a center no matter what they do. Plus this is in a less diseriable neigborhood then the others. Not that I am snotty like that but come on if you are charging more you got to give me some sense of more security. Its just fustrating. I kept him home yesteday because I had a dr appointment with my oldest and my mom came with me and she was with him in the waiting room and he goes "i'm bored" so my mom replies you should have gone to day care. His response, "i'd be bored there too" which this morning led me to respond to his "i don't want to go" with well you wouldn't be doing anything more exciting at home anyway...

I'm taking a big step for me (I'm Jewish) and looking at catholic schools for pre school or kindy, so far the price is better, now when I add in after school sometimes it washes out but depending on where I send him I may get some help from family so he may not go after school. Another option is my mom is thinking of doing a day and my dad would jump at it but thats not reliable, what if they get sick, if they decide they can't I'm screwed. My MIL recently retired but if they want to go away I'm screwed. Its just fustrating...

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 4:06pm
Wow! That sucks. I would definitely not pay more for a home based center than I would a regular center either. I don't have any experience with any religious centers at all, make sure you check on their dates of when they are open, what is required of it, etc. I know one here that a co-worker takes her DD to, there is chapel required, etc. They belong to the church anyways, so its it a big deal, but its something you want to know going in. Good luck, its so hard finding something that you can afford and that stimulates the kiddos and they enjoy.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 7:09am

My mom was actually suprised when I told her the religion stuff is required. Catholic school was always her threat to my sister and all the neighborhood kids went so my mom had other mom's telling her not worry they make excptions for non catholic kids but I guess not anymore which may explain they decline in enrollment but its only for a year and my dad knows why I would and he actually suggested the one by him. Its not like we are very religous but I just worry it will give my catholic in laws the wrong idea.

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