crying before school

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
crying before school
8
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 5:57pm

We have been in school almost 2 months and NOW we have started to cry that his belly hurts. It started Tuesday and he was so excited to go to school it was his classes turn to lead the prayer and he wanted to hold the flag. Of course he didn't get to he started off ok then as they started the pledge of alligence I could see he was holding back tears. And he kept looking over at flag so thought that was it. By the time they get to God bless America he is crying. I run over as it ends and I get my belly hurts. Now teachers son got to hold the flag so didn't mention thats what I thought it was. He went into school had a snack and bathroom trip and find rest of the day.

This morning he gets up ok but as I am getting out of shower older brother is yelling why are you crying and he is in hysterics. belly again...oh boy I needed a mental health day today but don't want to encourage that. Make him eat to see if he holds it down and he seems ok. get to school and he is fine but about 2 min before bell rings tears. Belly again. Teacher gets him to cheer up about it being gym day and a fun art project. Get him home tonight and decide to do some probing and he is afraid of the principal. Kind of makes sense for this morning and even yesterday, she was also on that side of yard. Now I will admit she is intiminating. I don't want to be called to her office but he is a good kid. He know when to stop talking and line up but he has to pass her every morning and is expected to say good morning and ok he is 5 weather is getting cold so he has a hat but its a catholic school so he has to remember to take hat off AND say good morning to the stern looking adult at the door...i'd be in a panic

Heart is melting for him and how do I tell him not be scared of her if I am!!!

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-08-2008
Mon, 11-11-2013 - 7:50am
Poor kid! It makes me sad that he's so scared of the principal. :( Hopefully it will get better as time goes on and he realizes that she isn't tooo bad (fingers crossed?). It has got to be so tough to deal with each day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 11-07-2013 - 12:44pm

First 2 days this week he was fine. Gave me a little on Monday morning said nope it doesn't now none of this get ready. Now today we were later then usual because of traffic. Pulled in same time as a buddy (it was so cute kid put his arm over jacob's shoulder) and he was fine but then kids in line were acting out so principal was over there and sure enough "my belly" Again you are fine...

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 8:28am
Oh my goodness Heidi. What a rough situation. I wish I had the perfect suggestion to give you. Do you think it would be traumatizing to him if you just took a "suck it up" approach and didn't pay his tears much attention? I know that's super rough... but perhaps he's playing into it a bit? Especially since he's fine once class is started?

Community Leader
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 8:25am
Ahhhh. That does explain a bit. It sounds like he's just shutting down a bit since the work is so challenging. Did you get a chance to chat some more? Has it improved at all? Keeping you in my thoughts... it is so tough when your child is struggling!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 12:23pm

Oy he is killing me. So this morning tears started from time he got up. Was coming down stairs crying “I just need a break” We had had a talk last night because he was upset again. Thought he was getting a day off because big brother has a dentist appointment (appointment is Saturday but last month he had an orthodontist appointment on same day little brother had no school so now he associating big brothers dentist with no school) so he started crying about going to school so I took him aside and had a little talk. He likes school, likes his classmates and even ok with the work (this does flip flop) “then what’s the problem” “mrs d…” I also noticed he wasn’t finishing his lunch. When school started he was telling me he was STARVING and he would eat a sandwich and apple slices and bag was empty when he got home. Last week I noticed some apples and went from some to all to all and part of sandwich so this week cut back and still not finishing sandwich. He said he doesn’t have time and he mentions Mrs. D again. Guess she is present at lunch and she must be monitoring and correcting behavior so not sure if maybe her presence is worrying him??

Now he doesn’t get in trouble. He can have a soft voice so think sometimes if he does say good morning as expected when he passes her on the way in she may not hear. The first time I addressed it he mentioned the being quiet, hats off and good morning routine of line up and not sure if they expect no talking or soft talking during lunch but he said something last night of her doing the shhh thing at lunch. I mean no talking is a bit excessive to me but that doesn’t mean they can be rowdy. Oh to be a fly on the wall and follow him one day…

I emailed the teacher and she said he is fine in class, has noticed the crying in line thing and we agree its anxiety but what next?? I tried explained they are teaching him manners and proper behavior. You should remove a hat when entering a building and its polite to say good morning. I do the same at work and do find it rude that have certain people who don’t extend such a courtesy. He is such an out going child THIS should not be a challenge. My shy one yah but this kid was walking all the way into stranger houses on Halloween and high 5 ing drunks on a bench (oh that’s another post) When he gets nervous or sad that’s the shy voice that he gets in the morning at school. As for this fear of getting yelled at, dad and I do it ALL the time and it doesn’t even phase him. This woman has never raised her voice at him and he terrified she will. At least he gets she is an authority but how do I get him over this anxiety when she is present. He should learn he needs to respect her as well as the teachers and other adult and understand rules and expectations but if he is behaving how do I get him not to panic that he is doing something wrong?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:35pm

he stops crying when he is in school just seems to be in morning with me :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:34pm

So did some more digging last night and that is just part of it. He is getting overwhelmed with the work. Its just a big adjustment and I am guessing its picking up. He was horrible this morning and didn't help the teachers were late coming out and kids in other kindy line goofying around and the principal came over and I'm kneeling in front of him because he was already crying and she looked over after scolding the other kids. Lady not helping me here!! Tomorrow is a half a day so maybe that will help and we can sit down this weekend and talk. Just been a crazy hectic week too...

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:45am
Oh! That's just so sad. How awful that he's so scared of someone that he should be able to feel comfortable with. I don't know how to fix that either! Would you feel comfortable talking to his teacher about this issue? Perhaps they might have a few ideas to help?