Trust your gutt, Mom. Move to another school/daycare. It doesn't have to happen directly and given that they barely recognize you, that alone, is enough to move her.
You may also try having a discussion with the Director and look for immediate improvement.
Your child will be glad to make even more friends although the short transition may be somewhat difficult. Just go, the sooner you drag it out, the worse it'll be.
I would trust my gut. You haven't felt comfortable about the place you currently have your dd in so something is striking you as being off. You just haven't found what it is or its a collection of little things that by themselves are okay but all together are not.
A child getting sick and poopping all over themselves can happen quickly. Leaking/sick poop is messy and gets everywhere very quickly.
The part to me that would be a deal breaker is that they barely acknowledge adults during drop off and pick up times. They should be all over it that an adult who is not a teacher or worker for the facility is now in the room with kids. I'm not saying they need to stop doing whatever they are doing and come have a conversation with you. It should be "Jacob, you mom is here to pick you up. Lets get your stuff together." If they all go home together (which it doesn't sound like they do), I could see them just calling out various kids names to release them to their parents. Do they talk to you about how your dd is doing? What the preschool curriculum is like? When are they going to do the eval for kindergarten readiness? What do they look for to tell you if your child is ready or if he/she could benefit from another year of preschool?
The worker who was in the baby room on her own would not have concerned me because I would have assumed that she was just in there covering for a minute while the regular teacher ran to the bathroom or to get more diapers, etc. I'd have to see her in there by herself often for that to concern me. To me that would be just like letting a older sibling keep an eye on the baby playing safely in the playroom while I ran to the bathroom. They could do that, feel good about helping me out, the baby would be safe and I could get to pee without having everyone carted off to the bathroom.
Thank you all for your input.
I understand where your husband is coming from because that is how I use to feel. But then a friend asked me if I expected my company to pay me when I was out sick or on vacation or it was a scheduled day off (like Thanksgiving and the Friday after) and I do/did. When you are not there due to vacations they are holding your spot for you and that is what you are paying for. Now if you only want to send her part-time and they are making you pay the full-time price I can see being upset.
A place one friend had her kids in had a per day charge where you only paid for the days you had your child in but they might not have a spot for your child on certain days. You could tell them a month at a time or on Monday what days your child would be in the following week and you would pay for that then. It was more expensive put she felt like she was getting her monies worth because she was only paying for what she used. I kind of understand her thinking but she paid quite a bit more than our other friend who was paying a flat fee per month regardless of how many days her dds were at the center.
It's a business and it sounds like they are treating it like that. Which has both good and bad points about it.
I do think it is a good idea to talk to her current center and find out if you can work with them to improve things.
I just wanted to update you all on the daycare issue.