dd number two curious HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
dd number two curious HELP!
2
Fri, 06-27-2003 - 8:52pm
I have two girls in between two boys. The oldest boy is 11 and the youngest is two. I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old daughter. I have been through this before with dd number 1. I was never sure how BEST to handle it then, and now here we are again with dd number 2. We have caught her twice now having the "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" game/discussion with friends of both genders. One friend played along and the other refused and told on her to me. I KNOW it's normal, and I know you are to discuss with them why this is not appropriate behavior and not over react ETC....*BUT* after doing all of the above, I keep running into it with her. I know she's feeling curious now, and I've opened myself up to her as willing to talk with her about any questions she has but have asked her not to discuss this type of thing with her friends and to keep her clothes on! dd number one did this type of thing many times before she finally out grew it! I could never get her to stop on my "command". Now it appears that dd number 2 is too curious to just discontinue this behavior as well. I get worried that it will lose her friends as some parents do not react well to this type of thing (no matter how many times they have or haven't heard it's normal). And, WHY are my kids seemingly so curious and other kids will refuse to play along?! HELP any advice here would be greatly appreciated! Janna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-28-2003 - 3:15pm
I assure you you won't lose any valid friendships with this issue. The only thing you can do is tell her that is a private thing for private times. It is inappropriate to talk about that. The body is beautiful, you know it looks different, and it is a private thing. Only mommies and daddies see their children's bodies and doctors when a mommy or daddy is there. If you make a big deal out of this, she is going to go for it even more so. You have many children f different ages so it is only natural that she wonder about that stuff. So many different body sizes and shapes are around her all day. KWIM? Try to keep your reaction minimal. You're doing the right things. It just has to pass, and it will. Hang in there! =) I'm happy to see you posting with us. I hope you decide to stay a while!!

Janet =)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 11:00pm
Janna,

Sounds like your daughter is fine. My ds is constantly trying to look at other people when they are dressing. Even though he has seen me, and his sister. He just thinks its funny. I think the other children told, because they were told by there parents to tell if another person wants to touch or see their private areas and they were frightened. Your daughter started it, so she was threatened. I am betting though that at some point those other kids will do similar things or already have. As long as she is not trying to force other children into this, by any means and it doesn't go beyond looking I think all should be fine. Most parents these days realize its normal. If you know of particular parents that might be offended then I suggest keeping a close eye on them during playtime.

Oh and by the way, no matter how many times I tell my ds its wrong and even give him time outs for it he thinks its hysterical to "moon" his brother and sister ecspecially if they have friends over.

leesa

Leesa

I'll hold my head high
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it Hell
I'll take on t