How to deal with a 5 year old bully

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
How to deal with a 5 year old bully
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 10:10pm

Hi, I am new here but not really new because I was here when I was pregenant with my daugher. Now, 5 years flew by, I have problem with her and have been searching for answers to help her but I realized most resource are for kids being bullied ,not the parents whom are bullies. :( it is such a shame to admit our daughter is a bully. She bullied my 8 year old son and tried to discourage others play with him again and again after all kind of talk and punishment that we show her. It worked for a day then she turned back to her old self. Today , her teacher sent home a note that she made threat to a boy with a plastic fork and told him that she was going to kill him. No, she was not joking. I want to think that she was trying to protect herself but to think about how she treats her brother, I cannot help to think that she is the bully. What if she is the bully, what should we do? we are not parents who spoil kids nor we are mean or distant parents.What did we do that make her think it is ok to bully others. I am looking for help or any suggestion on how to deal with her bullying others so she will not do it again. :(

thank you so much for reading


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 12:40pm

My 7 year old nephew is a terror. He has almost been kicked out of his afterschool and his camp for behavior including fighting. He is an istigator when with his siblings and cousins. Now there are TONS of issues with my sister and her ex and all her kids have some behavor, mood, anger issue. When she did family and seperate theropy there was a change in his behavior but either she didn't stick too it or he just became turned off by it but again TONS of issues here.

If you are open to it, talk to your pedi about maybe having her speak to someone or is there a counslor at the school. She might not know how else to process things and they maybe able to give some coping techinics or at least maybe find out if there is something behind the behavior. With your son could be sibling rivalry?? She might have some negative feelings about him and this is how it manifest and could be the same with school. If teacher is giving another kid attention I am going to do something about it.

I do think some of my nephews is attention, Even if its bad attention by acting out he is getting noticed.

Good luck.