How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How do you do it?
6
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 3:11am
It has been FOREVER since I have posted here! I have a question that has brought me out of lurkdom...First let me say that when they switched the boards over, it took me a really long time to get comfortable with them. Just as I did, we got pregnant! YEAH! And then the M/S hit with a vengance and has been terrible ever since! That being said, those of you with 2 or more kids, how do you do it?? We have been in such a routine for what will be 5 years when baby #2 comes (edd 12/19) that I am up at crazy hours (3 am here) worrying about a new routine! What we have really truly works. DS is such a great kid and such a little creature of habit. Most say that I am lucky to have some years in between them (not by choice, we have been trying for 3 yrs) but I am so afraid that it will bite me in the behind! Zan is very excited about the baby! Even knows that it is growing in Mommy's uterus and gets food from the umbilical cord and such. He is very concerned about me feeling ok and when I get sick he is hoping the baby is not sick too. I know that it will all work out I just need some assurance I suppose! Thanks for the ear!! I hope to come here more often now that I am feeling somewhat better and really actually liking the new set up :)

Christine, Alexander (1/8/99) and baby #2 edd 12/19

Avatar for daydreamer827
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 4:21am
Christine:

I know what you are going through. My Ds will be 5 in August and out little bundle arrived on 4/17/03, after two years of tyring and a miscarriage. We had a great rountine that worked for us all. Now, we are getting into a new one, it is not the same as it was before and we have been meet with hurdles along the way. Gabriella is 5 weeks old, and we are finally in a good groove. you will find what works for you and your Ds, the best advice I was given was enjoy the time while you are pg there will be plenty of time to re-schedule your new one. and with much time it has.

Hope this helps hugs and belly rubs.

Michelle

mom to Jay 8/27/98 and Gabriella 4/17/03

Ps Jay loves his new baby sister and would do anything for her
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 2:10pm
First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Second, you WILL find a new routine, it will take time but you will do it. My youngest turned a year old in March and I can't even remember the old routine. I do remember I was very worried especially since my first DD was not to happy about the baby. So my advice is TRY not to worry about it and enjoy the routine you do have for as long as you can.

Kris, Shelby(2/99), Taylor (3/02)

Avatar for suitemadameblue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 2:28pm
Many congrats to you!!!!!!!

I have two kiddos.....Tristan just turned 7 and Hollyann is 5 1/2 (there's 17months between them). You want to talk about a routine change?!? When I was pregnant with Hollyann, it was just Tristan and myself - hubby was out to sea for 6 months!!! He got home, which rocked the routine a little, and then a week later, Hollyann was born!! WHOA!!!! lol

But you know what? We all did just fine. Stressing and worrying about it *too much* will only make matters worse. Yes, it will shift routines - but it will also give the entire family a chance to create new ones. A friend of mine just had a baby a few months ago, and her other child JUST turned 5 this month. Naturally, she was worried about things, but she is so relieved. Her son is such a helper and absolutely adores his baby sister.

It will all work out ---- just remember to accept any and all help when it is offered!! ROFL Seriously, in no time at all after baby comes along, you will find yourself wondering - in a good way! - what you family was like when it was just the three of you!!

~Carrie

Avatar for kansascity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 2:46pm
First off, it's nice to see you again and CONGRATULATIONS! My DS was born 12/22/03, so my first piece of advice is to get that Xmas shopping taken care of in advance. LOL!!

Secondly, the best piece of advice I got was from my MIL. Actually, she gave me two. She said the first 3 months are the hardest and then gradually they get better. Looking back at those first 3 months, she was right. It was HARD!!!! Fortunately, DS was a VERY GOOD baby. The second thing she told me, that is so important, is to attend to the basic needs of the baby and spend as much quality time with your son. The baby won't know that you're not playing with it - as long as its diaper is changed and its fed - but your DS will. This definitely helped as my DD is a high needs kid and needs mom's attention.

Routines will become very important. My DH is a wonderful father and really helped - still does. I don't think a day goes by that I wonder how single moms do it. In the mornings, we are each responsible for getting a child ready. He usually takes care of DS and I take care of DD. We also do this at bed time.

Your DS seems like he's really looking forward to the new baby. That sounds positive. Let him be as involved as he wants to and if he doesn't, don't try to push it. Also, I think being able to spend one-on-one time with each child is important. We still do that.

Good luck! Be prepared for the worst, but pray for the best. Remember, this too shall pass. And please remember to take some time for YOU!!!!

Kathy, Alexandra (6/19/97) and Christian (12/22/99)

Avatar for limute
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 3:52pm
Congratulations! Of course everything will work out, although it will sometimes feel like a huge scramble. My two are three years apart and it still isn't easy, trying to joggle appointments, nap times, their needs, etc. I don't know if there is really much you can do to plan anything ahead. Will Zan be in kindergarten or preschool? If so, at least you know you will have a set amount of time to spend alone with the baby.

And try to arrange to spend time alone with Zan. I found that very hard to do...my second son was extremely attached to me and DH has always been more of a 'guest star' in the house instead of a main player, and hates to do any baby care. So we had a lot of problems with my older DS acting up b/c he wanted my attention. If you can get someone to watch the new baby sometimes so you can be alone with Zan it will make things much happier.

~ Limute

Three by the Sea

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 8:08pm
Oh Christine! Congratulations!!!!! It's great to have you back, you and company! LOL!! Eat crackers before you get out of bed, and drink milk at night is what I can offer as help. The clacium has been proven to help with morning sickness. *wink*

Congrats again! I'm so happy for you!!!!!

Janet =)

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