Hyper Active 4 Year Old

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Hyper Active 4 Year Old
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 10:27pm
I'm having some serious problems. My 4 year old is seemingly hyper active. My mother says he needs strict discipline and possibily a doctor's diagnosis. He doesn't listen to anything I say. At all. When questioned about why he's acting the way he is, he just repeats whatever we say. He runs through the house, screams at us for no reason, beats up on his little brother (the younger one is 2), and trys to hit me. Mind you, I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant. I can't take that kind of punishment. My husband and I have tried everything. Time outs, spankings, taking toys/ treasured items, limiting television viewing. Nothing seems to work with him. He doesn't try to apologize for his actions and when he throws a tantrum, there's no stopping him. There have been times we've had to restrain him just to get him to sit still during a tantrum. I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to do... someone, please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-27-2009 - 11:58am

When you ask him to not do something do you just tell him or do you get down on his level. Tell him and then have him repeat it back to you?

I know it can be hard dealing with a child with a changing and intense personality, Lindsay is that way. She can go from happy to over the top angry in seconds. And because she can be dramatic about it can take a while to figure out what it was that caused the change. What has worked best for us is to remain as calm as possible and to be as consistent as we can. She responds best to structure and routines so we have to keep a routine going even while on vacation and the weekends otherwise you can see the frustration build up and then some small thing will cause her to fall apart.

Other things that have helped is to keep her busy physically. Running outside, riding bikes, tumbling and dancing inside. We also make a big deal about it when she does what she is suppose to (asking people to stop doing something that is bugging her politely; taking deep breathes and continuing to try when something is difficult; etc.) and helping/correcting when she does fall apart or reacts loudly to something.

And I can't forget that we both take time out of our day to do things with just her. Her brother gets time with us on his own later. That way they both don't feel like they need to compete with us for attention and it cuts down on the "look at me" antics that become annoying and end up getting them in trouble.