I have a PKM - Proud Karen Moment

Avatar for sparkysmom97
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I have a PKM - Proud Karen Moment
8
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:46pm
I just have to brag on myself b/c I'm proud of how I handled a situation w/Shane tonight. And I've been on edge now for about 2 months so my calm reaction made me pause and pat myself on the back.

I'm unloading Shane's laundry tonight out of the dryer when I find a green push pin, like a map pin. I have never owned any of these in my life and it defnitely looked like something from school. Well, I had a feeling it fell out of his pocket. Next thought, how did it get there? He put it there. What's he doing with this and why did he put it in his pocket? So I asked. He denied it, but mother knows best, right? So I told him he should think about for a few minutes and I'll ask him again.

I put his clothes away and put him in the bath and I asked him "So what about that green tack?" Well he didn't understand what I was asking (which this turned out in my favor) so I rephrased it and said "the green pin. Where did it come from?" He hesitated and I told him I wanted us to talk about it and for him to come clean. So he finally said "school." I said "I know. Did you put it in your pocket?" He said yes. So then I asked a key question: Does anyone else know you put it in your pocket? He said no. I explained to him that that is stealing. I reminded him of what happened this last week with the car. And I told him the items might be vastly different in value but the act is the same. I asked him if he knew how the incident w/my car made me feel. He said "yes, very bad."

He understood what I was saying and I took story time away tonight as his punishment. I think the reason I was proud b/c I found a learning moment and went with it. I could have yelled and showed a lot of anger. But I felt that he wouldn't "get it." I took the role of empathy: Remember how it felt when that person smashed our car window and took our stereo? If your teacher knew that you took the green push pin, she's feel the same. Stealing is stealing.

I honestly think my approach will have a more lasting effect versus yelling.

Thanks for letting me toot my horn!


Karen mom to Shane (7/4/97)

Sparks

Avatar for crackermommaof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 10:36pm
You deserve that pat on the back! How many people today would think, "Oh, it's just a pin" toss it in the garbage, and never say anything about it! I wish more people would sieze the moment with "little" things before the big ones come. I think Shane got a valuable lesson tonight! WTG Karen!!!

Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 11:58am
You toot that horn, girlfriend! LOL! I commend your control! You really did take advantage of a learning moment, in more ways than one! Way to go, mommy!

HUGS,

Janet =)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Avatar for behind_blue_eyes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 12:14pm
YYG! Brag away! :0) I think you did great and I agree that Shane will "get it" a lot more than if you had 'accused' him and yelled about it. WTG mom!

~Lynda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 12:46pm
Oooh, I dunno, Karen, this might have an unexpected (and perhaps unfortunate, depending on your outlook) side effect - you might just turn Shane into a lawyer, LOL! I say that because at about Shane's age I took a purple nail, of all things, from a hardware store, my mother caught me with it and had a rather similar talk with me that I remember to this day. It made so much more of an impact to know WHY it was wrong than simply THAT it was wrong. I swear it had a lot to do with me becoming the (perhaps ridiculously) law-abidin' person I am and even with me going to law school.

Hmmm, green push pin, purple nail, even sounds kind of the same, doesn't it! I'm not making it up, though!

Good job, Karen!

Donna

Avatar for sparkysmom97
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 7:41pm
LMAOROFL!!!!

Sparks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:23pm
You go girl! That was awsome! You should be a teacher!

Lisa

Avatar for limute
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 5:13pm
Wow, that was a good way to take something and make it a real learning moment. Good for you! I can really learn something from you.

~ Limute

Three by the Sea

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:02am
That is a wonderful way of handling it. Kudos to you Karen!

Lisa

     Lisa
and her two "whirlwinds"
     DS-13 & DD-9