I have a PKM - Proud Karen Moment
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:46pm|
I'm unloading Shane's laundry tonight out of the dryer when I find a green push pin, like a map pin. I have never owned any of these in my life and it defnitely looked like something from school. Well, I had a feeling it fell out of his pocket. Next thought, how did it get there? He put it there. What's he doing with this and why did he put it in his pocket? So I asked. He denied it, but mother knows best, right? So I told him he should think about for a few minutes and I'll ask him again.
I put his clothes away and put him in the bath and I asked him "So what about that green tack?" Well he didn't understand what I was asking (which this turned out in my favor) so I rephrased it and said "the green pin. Where did it come from?" He hesitated and I told him I wanted us to talk about it and for him to come clean. So he finally said "school." I said "I know. Did you put it in your pocket?" He said yes. So then I asked a key question: Does anyone else know you put it in your pocket? He said no. I explained to him that that is stealing. I reminded him of what happened this last week with the car. And I told him the items might be vastly different in value but the act is the same. I asked him if he knew how the incident w/my car made me feel. He said "yes, very bad."
He understood what I was saying and I took story time away tonight as his punishment. I think the reason I was proud b/c I found a learning moment and went with it. I could have yelled and showed a lot of anger. But I felt that he wouldn't "get it." I took the role of empathy: Remember how it felt when that person smashed our car window and took our stereo? If your teacher knew that you took the green push pin, she's feel the same. Stealing is stealing.
I honestly think my approach will have a more lasting effect versus yelling.
Thanks for letting me toot my horn!
Karen mom to Shane (7/4/97)