My kids are driving me crazy!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My kids are driving me crazy!!!
10
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 7:30pm
My 5yo and 3yo DDs are driving me CRAZY!! It's only the end of June & I want to get rid of them NOW!! OK, I'm 6 months pregnant, but I don't think that's all of it. Those girls are just driving me mad!

They bicker, they whine, they cry - big, huge tears with loud whailing, my 5yo tells fibs, my 2yo hits, my 2yo whines, they fool around at nap time and then are unbearable by 5p.m., my 2yo whines (did I mention that one!????), my 5yo is the 'boss of every one and everything,' and my husband comes home, eats, does yard work (of course that is important, too) and I'm left with making dinner, cleaning up dinner, corraling the girls inside and away from the neighborhood kids for a bath (in which they bicker, hit, push, whine and cry), and then wrestling them into bed.

Yes, we have fun, too, but lately it seems like I have more down times than up times. Can anyone offer any words of encouragement? I feel like I'm in a downward spiral - our bad moods feed off of one another and just keep getting worse. I'm sure these negative emotions aren't very good for the baby, either. My DH company is at the end of their fiscal year and he rarely gets home before 6:30 at the earliest, and I know that's part of the problem too, but he can do nothing to change that. I KNOW he can't change it, which also pisses me off, and then I have the guilt - oh, the guilt! I can't even get angry anymore without having guilt to go along with it!

Sorry for the ramble.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 8:55pm
I'm sorry I cant offer any suggestions, just wanted to say I'm in the same boat. The constant fighting & screaming is driving me over the edge. I also say the bad times outweigh the good times, the rewards are so few & far between. I have an added problem, I cant coax my kids outside to save my life! What kind of kid doesnt want to play outdoors! Obviously mine!! I just dont get it, we have lots for them to do outside including a pool which wore off it's novelty after about 15 minutes, now I'm the only one using it & yelling indoors all day for the kids to come out. Ughh, it's frustrating, I feel like a failure. I think we both need some down time to regenerate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:52pm
I can relate to both of you on certain things :-) I am 5 months pregnant, and I've noticed that my moods are pretty crazy sometimes, so I definitely know how hard it can be dealing with a 4.5 yr old...I can only imagine if I had a 3 yr old thrown into the mix, I feel for you (original poster) and also I understand about the outdoors thing! My DD does not like being outside. She is fascinated with animals, weather, all of this outdoor stuff...but when it actually comes down to it, she complains of being "too hot" or "thirsty" (2 min after she's finished a bottle of water or some other beverage) etc. Granted it is VERY hot where we live, but I wish I could get DD to stay outdoors for longer than a few minutes at a stretch. We too have a pool, and I love being in it, but DD loses interest in about 10 min and goes into her little "playhouse" and takes her toys with her... which is essentially like being indoors w/o AC. Argh! ;-) Gretchen
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:11am
Hi I'm new to this board, but I just wanted to to let you know that I have the exact same type of days. My husband may get home about 1 hr. earlier but otherwise it sounds like my life...

I have 5, 3 and 19mos. old girls and it seems like someone is always whining about something, pushing someone, not playing the right game, smiling when the other one doesn't think they should, not doing what they need to be doing (IE..getting dressed, teeth brushed, sleeping, or anything else that I need them to do...)

Does it make you feel better to know that someone shares your misery? Of course I love my kids and there are times that I just melt at the sweetness of them but lots of times the WORK of it all is overwheming...


LISA

Avatar for crackermommaof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 3:41pm
Do we live in the same house? Oh yeah, mine has a 6yo ds and a 4yo dd, but the exact same scenario! Throw an almost 7yo niece in the mix for me to (I watch her full time in the summer.) My dh who is a teacher and should be home "helping" me out has barely been home at all since school let out, through no fault of his own. He has summer classes about an hour away from home so to save money on gas and tolls, he is staying with my BIL. At least this week is vacation Bible school, so they have been somewhat occupied, but last weekend we went on a camping trip, and if that wasn't torture, I don't know what is. The kids couldn't get along to save their lives. "He called me poopy head" "I had that first" "I'm teeeeeelllliiiinnngg" "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah" I heard that all weekend long, and actually ended up stomping off in the middle of preparing lunch at one point because of all that, plus DH was acting just like the kids. I was sooooo mad because I was knocking myself out to make it a really nice trip and that was the way they were all acting.

Sorry to unload, but gee it made me feel much better. Long story short, because I really could go on and on, LOL, is I'm in the same boat.

I would like to think it's an adjusting to new routine and re-establishing pecking order type thing, but I don't know if that really is the case. At least now I know I'm not alone.

Just try to keep them busy, it's about the only thing that helps around here. Good luck!

Stephanie

Avatar for kansascity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 5:03pm
Well, I can't relate a whole lot (although I do have a 6 and 3 year old) because I am a WOHM and am not pregnant. But 2 things come to mind:

What kinds of activities do you have planned for the day? On the weekends or other days we have off, I find that if I don't have something planned (OUTSIDE the house), they get stir crazy which leads to the fighting and bickering. Sometimes it's just a trip to the mall or we spend a couple hours at the pool, whatever.

Secondly, do you think your kids still need a nap? I know both of mine outgrew naps (for the most part) around the age of 3. If it's becoming a hassle (more hassle than it's worth??), maybe you could switch it from nap time to quiet time. Schedule a specific time each day and let them know that it is quiet time - for everyone. Tell them they must each go to their own rooms (please tell me they don't share a room - LOL!) and you to yours and they need to play quietly for one hour. Often times when we used to do this, they would end up falling asleep anyway.

You might also set up some type of rewards/sticker chart for both girls to reward their good behavior - not bickering, fighting, sharing, etc.

Sounds like you definitely need some YOU time too. What's the possibility of DH taking the kids when you get home and you taking some time for YOU?? Do you belong to any mommy and me type groups? This type of adult interaction (for you) along with kid interaction would be good for all of you.

Take care and good luck!

Kathy, Alexandra (6/19/97) and Christian (12/22/99)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 11:38pm
I just wanted to say that I think it is GREAT you took your DC on a camping trip. I think a lot of parents (well, at least a lot of parents I know irl) who have 2 or more children think it's "too much work" to go ANYWHERE at all, and to me that is sad. I think it's wonderful for children to have as many new experiences as possible (at least to an extent that they can handle). I only have one DD (age 4.5) but we're expecting our 2nd in Nov and DH & I have been discussing how we want to do things and we don't want to be those parents who say "ok...we could either take the kids to a museum kids day and Chuck E Cheese, or we could rent Disney movies and stay home"...then choose the latter just because it's EASIER, does that make sense? I dunno, I don't mean that we never watch videos...of course we do...but I just see some other parents around me (in real life) that have 2, 3, 4 children who reach the age of 10+ and have never been inside of a restaurant, movie theatre, motel, never camped out, etc...and it makes me sad. Or the kid who has been dragged to every store in town with their mom, made to sit in every adult restaurant being hushed to death...but never attended a kid-friendly event!

Gretchen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 9:27am
Ugh...are you guys living with us???? Sure sounds like it! I feel the SAME way...my kids are DD-9.4 and DS-4.6 and then an 8week old baby girl. The older 2 fight like cats and dogs...DD screams yells and bosses, DS whines cries and hits..........NON STOP and they both tattle like you wouldn't belive! THen like your DH mine either comes home from work late...or comes home and his a list of things to do...so NO HELP For me. Sometimes I think he chooses to work late, LOL!!! Can't say I blame him!

No advice to give you other than we have started the 3 strikes your out rule at our house and I have quit being so easy going. If they get their 3 strikes they loose something. For DS it starts with the playstation, and for DD it starts with her TV...then they get 3 more strikes and if they get all those taken they lose something else...this has worked pretty good!

Hang in there, summer is half way there!

Hugs and ~~~sanity~~~ vibes to you!

Laura SAHM to Emily 9, Jordan 4 1/2 and Carys 8 wks tomorrow

Laura SAHMommy to:

Emily 9 1/2, Jordan 4 1/2 and Carys born 5/2/03

Avatar for kansascity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 10:08am
I TOTALLY agree with you. We usually always take the kids to "kid friendly" places. Our favorite restaurants to go (when we eat out) are Rain Forest Cafe and Joe's Crab Shack. Those are very kid friendly places. My kids love them. I too get frustrated with parents who get upset with their kids when they take them to places that no kid would want to be.

I like to take the kids out and "hate" to stay home. They just start getting on each other's nerves and things escalate. And it doesn't have to be any place that even costs money - park, mall, etc.

Last weekend, we had a cookout with friends and then went to the pool, this weekend we're going to the local amusement park/water park (it's Family Day for my work), the next weekend we're going to my brothers in Wichita for the long 4th weekend (they have 3 kids my kids adore), the next weekend I have free passes to a local kids' gym, the next weekend we're celebrating DD's 6th bday with her friends, the next weekend we're going to Branson, MO for a 4-day weekend and staying at a place with an indoor/outdoor water park, no plans for the next weekend (might need a break - LOL!), but then the two weekends after that we'll be in Colorado for our family reunion. Then school starts!! WHEW!!! We'll be busy, but it will be SO nice. The less time we have to sit around and wonder what to do, the better.

Like I said, I work out of the home, so my situation is definitely different. But I think it's important to keep the kids active - especially when the tensions start building up. What's that called?? Cabin fever?!

Kathy, Alexandra (6/19/97) and Christian (12/22/99)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 10:19am
I agree, I think it's harder for kids AND parents to stay in/at home all of the time. I'm a SAHM and DH has a lot of flexibility in his career, so we are lucky in that way and I know not everyone has such a flexible schedule. But still :-)

BTW I've been to Branson, it was a lot more fun than I expected! I thought it would be all country music, which I despise, and I didn't realize 'til we got there they had other fun stuff like amusement parks and (swoon) OUTLET MALLS! yahoo ;-) Gretchen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-28-2003 - 3:07pm
Try to do some things that don't have a lot of limits. Is ther a park near you that you can take the kids to to just run free? Often times they get cranky because they have pent up energy. At a park you can sit and relax. Mc Donald's Plaplace is great, too, but not as free with space.

Water is like therapy. If you have a kids pool, or a hose with a cool sprinkler on it, that may help. Again, it's more freedom. Bring lunch outside and make an afternoon of it. When they go in, watch a movie and hopefully that will bide some time.

Playdoh is great, too. You can make it and that is always cool.

Baking activities work well. If everyone gets a part and knows their part BEFORE you start, it can be a success, too.

LIBRARY!! Reading hours.

If you have a friend who likes to come over, that is refreshing, too. Just having an adult to talk to can be reassuring.

If there are any graduated Seniors around, you can hire them for a few bucks a week. Maybe 2 hours a day to do an activity witht he kids?? Maybe the Senior can take the kids to the park??

I would definately come up with a daily routine like a center would do, and incorporate chores, lunch, snacks, project times and such. It helps the day go by faster, and it keeps them busy.

Hang in there! Things WILL get better.

Janet =)

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