At my wits end with bed time and mornings

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2013
At my wits end with bed time and mornings
2
Mon, 10-28-2013 - 9:46pm

My daughter is 4 and a half. She has an 8pm bedtime. PJ were on, teeth brushed, put her to bed, read book. For the past hour she keeps running out of bed, smiling and laughing. I try and guide her back to bed but she makes me drag her, I pick her up and put her in her bed and say good night, it's bed time. She keeps laughing and running out. I have back problems and can't keep dragging or picking her up. I try and be nice, stern, angry..nothing works. I take toys away, one time I took every single thing out of her room excpet bed and dresser for a week. No change. I just gave up and as im writing this she is standing next to me saying "im not in bed" over and over. I am ignoring her at this point. IDK what else to do, I can't deal with this night after night. Sometimes we go through a similar situation in the AM, we wake her up for school, she doesn't want to get out of bed, brush her teeth, get dressed, she fights us the entire time. I literally have to dress her like a baby while she kicks and fights the entire time. There was never a night time issue until now. P.S. She wakes up at 7am everyday and does not nap ( I can't get her to). Goes to school M-F 8am-1pm. Husband works nights so I am on my own here. He tries to help in the morning but it doesn't make a difference.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 10-29-2013 - 12:31pm
That's a hard one. We go through the same thing with my youngest one here and there. What do you guys do in the evening before the evening routine? Is she just not tired yet? We try and get the girls to get some outdoor time, do something fun that they can run around and run off some steam for a bit before dinner so that when we wind down and do the bedtime routine, then they are more tired and go to bed easier. The only other thing i do when we run into those kinds of nights is to tell her that if she's not tired, she can stay awake, but she has to stay in her room and in her bed. Mine will lay in bed and sometimes read for an hour before she falls asleep, or she'll play with her toys in bed. After 3 kids, I have come to the conclusion that its more about the control issue and getting a reaction out of us, so if we don't give it to them, they are less likely to push. There are still nights we have issues and its a constant back and forth (like last night for us), but for the most part, if I tell her she can stay awake, but has to stay in bed, she's satisfied and will stay in there.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 11-09-2013 - 7:58am

well I was going to ask about naps and then I read the end of your post...my oldest is a horrible sleeper. Always has been. We first blamed nap time but his preschool as adimant ALL kids HAD to nap (insert eye roll) Then in kindergarten it was rest time but no change in sleeping patterns. Still to this day at 10 he needs to take something for sleep but he is also ADHD (not saying anything other then that part of our problem) My youngest we had the same the issues and for him turned out to be nap issues. he started kindergarten this year and he passes out around 7. Half the time doesn't make it to bed first. He always had a long day I work and DH does too so he has been in day care since he was a baby but we skipped preschool so he hung out basically like he was at grandmas playing with other kids (mostly younger). Because sleep was such an issue he usally passed out on sitters couch when he got there and often doozed in afternoon too so come bedtime he was NOT tired. WOuld cry and carry on and on. But he is super busy in kindy and after school. Its new to him so learning a lot and brain is getting a work out and then he is playing too especially in after school and then we get home have dinner and homework and he is usually done and ready for bed.

So she goes to school 8-1, anything in the afternoon? Maybe a class or an activity that will get her tired in late afternoon? Sounds like she has plenty of energy at bed time. Does it seem like she doesn't wind down. thats my oldest issue, he never seems to wind down. I will admit when he was 4 I was pregnant and exhausted and he just ended up sleeping with me most nights. We had really bad mornings for a LONG time because of his sleeping. Its better now but think thats somewhat an age thing.

Sorry not much help.

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