need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
need advice
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:58am

Hi all! I need some serious advice, so I hope this is the right place to find it (I will be posting on several boards as I’m not sure which ones are active and I am hoping for some quick responses!)
I am 18 years old, just graduated from high school, and I have taken a full time babysitting position this summer. I will babysit Taylor (girl, 5 years old) and Ryan (boy, 2 years old) for 4 days a week all summer from about 7:30am until 4:00. Here is the problem…
Taylor is a very, very clingy girl and is extremely upset with not having her family members there. She talks about how she misses her mom all the time. Ever since she was a baby, she has had her grandmother babysitting her but now the grandma is getting too old to be chasing them around so they wanted to find a teenager. Taylor is a very shy and nervous person, but only when her parents aren’t around. She is supposed to be going to JK next year and is absolutely adamant that she is not going.
For most of the day, she is very sweet and will play around with her brother and I, but usually once a day (I have babysat twice so far) she has a meltdown. She refuses to get dressed unless her mom is there, she refuses to eat, she refuses to go outside for more than 5 minutes, she refuses to do crafts. She won’t do ANYTHING because her mom isn’t there.
The main issue on the first day happened when I tried to get her dressed for the day. She ran screaming and crying to her room and wouldn’t come down for an hour and a half.
Yesterday (day 2) I knew then that getting dressed would be an issue, so I didn’t press it. But then she and Ryan decided they wanted to go swimming in the baby pool and when I went to get her bathing suit, she jumped right in in her pajamas. I didn’t want to create an issue and she was already soaking wet, so I let her stay a little in her pajamas but she did not to eventually change out of them as they were soaking wet and she had a screaming fit then.
And then there’s no eating. I have made her everything I can think of and she absolutely refuses. I even tried chocolate bars just to get something in her and she says, “No, I will wait for Mommy to get home”.
So now I am getting really frustrated and don’t want to lose my job over her. I have babysat a TON of kids and have never seen anything like this, to this extreme. Her Mother is very protective of her and calls several times in the day, worried. She called me this morning before I came over and said she was staying home from work because she had “the flu”, which I think just means she didn’t want to leave Taylor.
So, if you have gotten through this huge post, DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE???

Thanks so much,
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
In reply to: nat_c_123
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:59am
I am not sure what to tell you. As a Mom I would want to know how my child is acting and the fact that she is refusing to eat. IMO You should talk with Mom and Dad and find out what they want for Taylor and if there are any hints they can give you. A child will not starve her self at that age and missing a meal will not hurt her. Is she eating breakfast before you come over? If not then absolutely discuss it with her Mom. You might see if Mom could make a Sac lunch for Taylor and have Taylor get it out for herself. You might also have Mom set out an outfit for Taylor so it is the outfit that "Mom wants her to ware". Maybe if you take the attitude that Mom is wanting you to do this it might help. Hang in there keep trying to make friends with Taylor as she gets use to you she might loosen up for you. HTH