out of comtrol 4 yearold i need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
out of comtrol 4 yearold i need help
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 7:49pm

i need help my 4-yearold son dont lestin to me or his dad. time outs dont work, spankins dont work, i have even took away all of his toys, and that still dont work. i dont kno what to do!! i beleive that he has adhd but i think he is to young for meds. our prolbems are

1) talks back

2) screaming and whinning

3) sneeking and doing things behind our back.

4) when we put him in the conner or sit him down in time out he talks and back talks crys and jumps around.

5) if we go to spank him he screams, run, and hides like we are killing him.

6) he does thing just to make us mad

I just need help its gettin to the point that i think there is something wrong with me and im crazy and need meds. i cant take it any more plz help me give me advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
Wed, 10-01-2008 - 3:00pm

First of all, is this new behavior? If it is new, check out the situation and see what you child is trying to tell you. If this is not new it is time to relook at your family as a whole. How do you as parents speak to each other? Do you yell? Are you rude to each other or sarcastic? Are you that way with your child? Children learn from what they see. If they see respect they will respect. Yes, children test. They want to see what they can and cannot do. Does his whining ever work? When he jumps around in the corner do you go to him? Lastly, what would you do if someone was trying to hit you? Would you stay and wait or would you run and hide?
I am a Parent Coach and I would love to be involved in helping you find new solutions for your family. I offer a complementary 30 minute coaching call to parents so that they can see what coaching is all about. Being that you are a fellow ivillage member I would like to offer you two 30 minute sessions so you can see just how much coaching can do for your family. Let me know when would be a good time for you.


Brandi Davis
Child And Family Coaching
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 2:38pm

How are things?

Have things changed? Gotten better (even for a little while)? Gotten worse?

Have you tried catching him being good and rewarding that behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 1:02am

yes at times and i have rewarded him for good behavor. i have figured out a couple of the bigest problems that i face with him . one we just add a new baby to the mix and i have been trying to balance time with him and the other prob is his granny my mom she lives with us and i have watched her go behind my back and let him do things that i tell him no about i got to figure out how to get her to quit i have tryed to talk to her about it but she is one of those moms that when you say anything to her bout it she is like you just dont want him to have anything to do with me. yeah i hate the guilt trip crap. if i didnt want him to have anything to do with her i wouldnt let her live with me. you know what i mean. lol but we have been working on the problems