Potty Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Potty Issues
4
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 8:13pm
I got a little feedback on my last issue with my DS. We are now battling him tooth and nail with using the potty. He wears underwear all day and will pee when he has to in the toilet, but he refuses to poop in the toilet. He won't even sit down on the toilet to try. My husband (his step dad) has been pressuring him and even ridiculing him about it. I've noticed that now, he seems to be regressing a little bit and will pee his pants once in a while. He is old enough to be fully potty trained but he refuses to sit on the toilet to poop!!! He cries and throws a fit so bad that he breaks out in the hives. Has anyone else had this to deal with? I'm tired of my friends telling me he should be out of pull ups completely. He still wets at night so I put a pull up on him when he sleeps. I feel like a failure at potty training because everyone is telling me he is too old for pull ups.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
In reply to: babygirl6737
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 11:45pm

Although your ds may be on the older side, he's still fine. There are plenty of children his age who are not yet potty trained. And, your ds IS more than half way done training anyway (pee trained). Although not all children experience fears with toilet training, many, many children do. It is an unfortunate but common part of the process.

Don't make the poop potty training a battle. It will just stress all of you out, you won't make any progress, and you'll make ds even more fearful than he already is. You also don't want your ds to begin withholding his poop which can lead to bigger problems.

Let your ds know that he needs to wear underpants during the day and pee in the toilet, but when he needs to poop, he can ask for a diaper or pull-up. Let him do this for several weeks (8-12 weeks or longer) until he is very comfortable with toileting.

When you are ready to begin poop potty training, select a date, assemble rewards, etc. On the designated day, when your ds asks for a diaper/pull-up to poop, take him to the toilet instead. Since he'll have asked for a diaper, you'll know his urge to poop is strong, so take advantage of it. If you think he'll try to withhold his poop, begin giving him a daily dose of a mild laxative during poop potty training, to make withholding more difficult. My children were moderately fearful for 1-2 weeks of poop potty training and mildly fearful for another few weeks.

Stress can cause regression with potty training. I know your dh is frustrated with your ds, but ridiculing ds is only going to make the problem worse. Children don't ENJOY having toileting problems. They have toileting problems due to fears and stress and other problems they can't control (incl medical problems, sometimes). Gently helping ds to overcome his concerns will enable you to get through this process a lot more quickly as well as happily.

I know it's hard to tune out the friends who are pressuring you to be done with potty training, but do your best to ignore them. They don't know what's best for YOUR ds. You do.

Also, nighttime potty training is different than daytime potty training. Your child must first develop the hormone that signals the kidneys to slow urine production when the body is asleep. Without that hormone, the body produces too much urine to stay dry. Once you see signs that your ds body may be ready to stay dry at night, you can begin limiting fluids before bed and awakening him once during the night to take him to the toilet, to help train him to be dry all night.

Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: babygirl6737
Sat, 03-21-2009 - 1:35pm

When he sits on the toilet do his feet either reach the ground or a foot stool? Sitting on the big toilet for a lot of little kids is scary. They are often afraid they will fall in.

Another suggestion I have is to have him sit on the toilet, fully clothed when he doesn't have to go either one. Let him see that it isn't as scary as he has made it in his mind.

Also have him start emptying the poop into the toilet and flushing it when he uses the pullup to go. Say something like poop belongs down the toilet. You could even see if he would sit on the toilet to be wiped.

Lastly I would stop talking to other people about whether he uses a pullup to go poo or not. It is also not anyone's business if he needs pullups at night. The reason I'm suggesting to stop talking about it is because they are adding stress to a situation that is already stressful. Like the pp said you don't want to battle over this. This is an area where the child has more control and refusing to poo will cause more problems then the inconvenience of having to get pullups.

Neither you or he can control night time training. There are a number of kids who don't develop that hormone until after they are 8 (they made Goodnights and other big kid stay dry underwear, for that very reason.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
In reply to: babygirl6737
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 7:37pm
Thanks for all the input.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: babygirl6737
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 5:10pm
Sounds like a good plan.