sad about oldest graduating pre-school

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
sad about oldest graduating pre-school
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Wed, 05-21-2003 - 11:02pm
Hi, I'm new here, but I'm hoping that someone can help. I am a 30 yr old stay at home mom to my 2 boys, ages almost 5 and 3. I also run a day-care in my home. I stay really busy, but treasure the time with my boys. My oldest graduates from pre-school on Friday, I even took the day off so that we could go out for lunch and really celebrate. The problem is I am a little (or a lot!) sad that my boy is growing up and away from me. He's a great kid, but I really hate to think about him being in school all day, every day starting in the fall. I know he's ready and he's really looking forward to it, so I would never dream of holding him back a year. I guess I just need to know if anyone else has dealt with this and how you got through it. My 3 year old will also be starting pre-school in the fall. I feel like I have had my two "babies" for so long, and that we would never get out of that stage, and now here I am with two great little boys who are growing up so fast!! I feel proud of them, I know my husband and I have been raising them well. But I also feel selfish for wanting them to stay little. Is this normal? Thanks for reading, I do appreciate it. Tara

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Avatar for animalcrackers2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 2:11am
I know we all go through this when it's time to say goodbye to a special time in there life. My ds is graduating pre-school next week and I just know I'm going to cry. It's such a sweet simple time in their life and even though they are only going to K the demends are greater on them. Sam's school is this sweet little nursery school with only 10 kids in his class and very low key. So much more will be expected of him next fall. I know he will be fine since he will already be 5 1/2 when he starts K and he's been going 5 mornings a week since last fall to preschool. My oldest (15yrs on Friday) went to the same pre-school and this will be my last one there and that makes me sad to say goodbye to that chapter in my life. So my point is what your feeling is oh so normal.

Dana, Mom to Sam 5 yrs and Lauren 15 yrs in 48 hours (she is counting down the hours, lol)

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 9:17am
Thanks for letting me know that what I'm feeling is normal, that does make me feel better. Good luck to you at your little ones pre-school grad, be sure to take extra tissues!! And Happy B-day to your daughter, 15 is exciting. Thanks for the support. I am going to try to be more happy and excited, than sad. Thanks so much, Tara
Avatar for teddyfor2
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 9:54am
When Dylan started preschool I was sad, when Sally started I was sad, same when Dylan left preschool, and now that K is almost done I get a little sad. Part of it is that 1st grade will be the first time he'll be gone all day, but also his school is so large (doesn't feel like a big school), with people moving in & out of the district, that they can't keep the classes the same every year, and his K class has bonded so well.

I've finally relize that every big transition for my kids will make me a little sad. And that's OK. I am also very proud of them.

Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:12am
I SO know what you are feeling! My oldest was in K this year and it is such a bittersweet time. Like Dana said - it's a chapter in your life that is ending and it can be so hard to let go. We do everything we can to raise them right and get them ready for the world and then they actually go and DO it! LOL

I was so excited for my DS to start school, and so sad, too. For me there was also a 'left behind' kind of feeling. There he was - all excited with his new backpack and clothes ready to embark on this adventure that lies ahead of him, and I was left standing on the sidewalk waving goodbye. It's hard. But I have to tell you, he came home that day so excited and telling me all about everything he saw and learned and did and I realised that it really is a new chapter beginning, as well, and that's what I focused on. Change is hard, especially when it means that our kids are growing up and more independent just like we want them to be. But if you focus on the new as opposed to the old, you can see it as your own little adventure, too.

Just my take. It was a rough summer last year leading up to school - my 2nd DS was evaluated and found to have a speech delay and was eligable for the town's program, so HE started school in the Fall, too, and we found out about a month before! So BOTH of my guys were suddenly leaving me. Ugh! But I was pretty ok once it actually came to pass.

What you are feeling is so normal, and actually shows what a great, loving Mom you are to your kids. Hang in there - you're doing a great job!

~Jodi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 7:11pm
Just wanted to say thanks for letting me know that you also feel a little sad at the big transitions in your childrens lives. It makes me feel more "normal" knowing that someone else feels the same way. Thanks for the response. Tara
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 7:20pm
Thanks so much! Just wanted to let you know that I really liked what you said about focusing on the new as opposed to the old. It really makes a lot of a sense and I appreciate you sharing with me. I don't always do well with change, but I'm working on it. I am definitely trying to teach my boys that change can be good, even though I sometimes have a hard time with it! Nobody said it was easy being a Mom, right?!?!

This is such a great board, I'm so glad I was able to find it. I hope to join you more often, now that I know that you are such a great group of people. Thanks again for the advice and support. I really do feel much better and a lot less sad now. Tara
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 8:14pm
Oh Tara, it's never easy when our babies grow up. It's only natural for you to feel emotional about it and all of the upcoming changes. Everyone is different, and I can tell you that I am one who is slow to warm up to change and really bad with transition. I STILL don't know how I seem to make it as a military spouse. *wink* Allow yourself time to feel, mommy. Just try to keep it upbeat around the little ones. This is a time for them to feel encouraged and not to have to worry about mommys feelings, KWIM? I say that wile I'm hugging you, because "I" know how difficult it is. I have to try and make moving every three years a fun activity and all the while I am miserable. It's tough, but we can do it, right? =) HUGS again....try to think of all of the "new" traditions you can start. That will add some excitement to it rather than the loss of the past ones. It gives you something to look forward to and plan for.

Love,

Janet =)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:10pm
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, it really has helped me out. I will definitely take your advice on allowing time to feel sad, but still remain upbeat and move forward. Change is tough sometimes, but I have to remember that even thought I miss my "babies", I really do enjoy who these little guys have become. I think watching them grow up and away from me is so hard because I love spending this precious time with them. By the way, I really admire how you can remain upbeat and move every few years. You sound like a great Mom. I have learned that the most important thing about being a mom is being flexible and positive for your family. But it's still really hard sometimes, but I know my family is definitely worth it. It's so great that we have places like this so that we can compare notes once in awhile. It really saves my sanity. Thanks again, Tara
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 12:14pm
What nice things to say!!! Thanks for the compliments!

This board really is a great one. I love the people here and the advice I get, even if I at times respectfully disagree, WINK.

Post often! You're a part of the family, now! =)

Janet =)

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Avatar for boymeetsgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 5:09pm
I really don't have much to add, I think it's pretty much all been said. My baby will be starting K in the fall, and I am very sad about losing her company for half the day. But I am talking to her about it and she is very excited and I want her to enjoy school. It is very hard to watch our little ones grow up, but as parents we must support them and urge them on. Change and growth is very important. (((HUGS)))

Tracey

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