Should he stay or should he go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Should he stay or should he go?
4
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 12:12pm

Ok, just need to bounce this off a few people.


My son was moved to the 4/5 yr old class at preschool 6 months early due to "coverage issues" with teachers.


He has had no disciplinary problems at school until now.


The new teacher complains to me everyday (IN FRONT OF HIM) that he cries all day and doesnt pay attention in circle time and when she tells him to settle down he just throws one big fit.


Now seeing the way he "clings on to me" as she's telling me this, i can tell this is really effecting his little psychy. I feel like the constant bad mouthing of him in front of me and the entire class

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:21pm

Your ds is being abused and bullied, and the teacher is the ringleader! I'd definitely pull him out of there! Your taking him out of that environment protects him and shows him that mom is looking out for him.

If your ds were several years older and had signed up for baseball or something like that and wanted to quit, then I can see the value of having him stick it out (assuming people aren't being as deliberately cruel to him as they are where he is now). Right now he has not chosen to be in his current environment (but even if he had, he is being badly mistreated), and he does not yet have the age and maturity necessary to deal with this on his own.

You constantly hear stories of teens taking weapons to school as a result of constant in-school bullying. If a teen can't handle it -- and they shouldn't have to take daily abuse -- how much harder is it for a preschooler to know how to resolve conflict on his own?

You are correct in thinking that leaving your ds in this environment will cause permanent damage to your ds.

I hope you're able to find a better situation for him quickly. (And good for you for being willing to make the change!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 3:36pm
I'd look for a better fit.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Wed, 05-20-2009 - 9:32am

Thank you for your input! I decided that day to pull him out and switch him to the other kindercare for a trial period. This new teacher is a young male (which my son seems to be very receptive too) and I have briefed the new school's director with the history of verbal abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-20-2009 - 7:19pm

I am sorry you and he are having such a hard time with day care/preschool.

My first inclination is to wait and see what the director's and teacher's response is to what the little girl did to your son. That is going to say more about what the school is like than what another 4 year old did to him. You can not always control what a child does but how you respond to it says a lot.