Son Asking/Talking about his Father
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|Mon, 08-11-2008 - 4:07pm|
So my 4 1/2yo son has been asking questions about his father since he's been about 2... I was shocked when at 2 years old he started asking about his father but was able to just say "your daddy lives far away" and leave it at that... He would walk around the house and casually say "my daddy lives far away" and keep on going... Now that's he gotten a little bit older and is in preschool and at church, he talks about his father more and more.... Last year he was sitting on the potty and told my mom that his daddy loves him and he loves his daddy and when his daddy is done living far away he's going to come and live with him... My mom called me at work and was crying because Connor had no idea what he was really saying couldn't happen.... It made me cry... Well here lately he's been talking a lot about his father and how I'm his father's wife... We never married and Connor was born well after we had split up.... We were out Saturday and he saw a guy walking by and said really low "that's my daddy" then Saturday night he told me before he went to bed "I miss dad"... It's so heartbreaking for me to hear him talk about this because his father has never taken an active roll in his life and because he's an extremely violent person I've never pursued it and don't plan on doing that at any time.... Connor has my father in his life full time (we live w/ my parents) and he's also got both of my brothers and my brother in law around a lot... I can't begin to understand how he feels because my parents have been married for 34 years.... I just wish I could do something to help Connor understand that his father isn't going to live with us and he probably won't be in the picture yet he's just way too young to understand all of it.... I answer his questions in ways that he can understand and in ways that won't give out too much information that will get him confused..... Does anyone have any advice on this?? I posted a comment about behavior a few minutes ago and I think part of Connor's behavior issues are due to his father not being in the picture at all... I just don't know.... I'm heartbroken for him because I see how he hurts and it in turn hurts the hell out of me... I just wish I could take the pain away from him but I know that I can't do anything about it....