suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
suggestions?
5
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 9:22am

Hi, I'm new here. I'm the mom to a 4yo boy and 3yo girl.


I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions of good books on raising boys. My ds is a super duper handfull. I almost considered having him evalulated for a disability like adhd or something, but went with the advice that he is much too young to have to go through that when there is a good chance he's fine.


My concern is that handling things with boys can be so sensitive - I don't want him to be desensitized and become uncaring, but also don't want him to turn into a big bully. I feel like there is such a fine line when you deal with a boy.


Also - what's up with the obsession with his penis?! Is that normal? That is also such a sensitive thing - I don't want him to be ashamed of himself - but I certainly don't want him walking around pulling the darn thing out all the time!!!


Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
THanks so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: ibbys
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 4:11pm

I enjoyed reading Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It gave me some insight on how to word things and how I approached situations that bug me.

I've started reading this one based on a friend's recommendation. It has good reviews on Amazon. The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys by Cheryl L. Erwin.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
In reply to: ibbys
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 2:06pm

If you suspect a possible disorder in your ds, I'd suggest you go ahead with an evaluation. IF your ds has a problem, early intervention is super important. Unless your ds is out-of-control, he shouldn't need medication even if he does have ADHD, but getting a good diagnosis will help you know whether you just have a spirited child or whether he has a problem that makes him need extra supports to help him be successful.

Getting an evaluation won't be putting your child through any kind of trauma. The parent gets to answer tons of questions, but the child usually does fun interactive stuff with the evaluator.

You might seek out a developmental pediatrician for an eval and diagnosis. If nothing else, write down a list of all the worrisome behaviors/quirks you see in your child and give it to your pediatrician to review. Your pediatrician can let you know whether it warrants further evaluation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: ibbys
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:18pm
Thank you Teresa. I knew I had seen some books posted but couldn't remember where.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
In reply to: ibbys
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:15pm

In my post (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-psforandfive&msg=18912.1&ctx=0) someone suggested what look like great books, CDs & DVDs. I'm going to check a few out. They are not specifically about raising boys (although that's what I have too), but I thought they might be helpful.


GL! :-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: ibbys
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:03pm

I'm drawing a blank on good books on raising a boy right now. I'll think some more and come back with some later.

The obsession with the penis is very normal. How do you react when he is touching it? Try to be matter of fact about not wanting him to touch it in public/around other people without making it seem like something forbidden or gross.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn