Telling me he hates me

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Telling me he hates me
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 3:55pm

I hope you don't mind if a grandmom drops by with a question. I have a 4 1/2 soon to be 5 darling grandson who started about 6 mths ago to tell me he hates me, to go away, I'm not invited here, I'm not invited there & that he doesn't want me looking at him.Frankly, I don't know what to do. I raised 3 kids & when they told me they hated me, it was because I punished them. Here I can get this just by walking into the room. Hasn't anyone else run into this problem?

A bit of history: DGS is special needs & he has spent a lot of time with both sets of grandparents because until recently his parents weren't comfortable with him in daycare. I have always been the least favourite grandparent as the others spoil him rotten because of his disability. I have treated him as any other child & I expect him to behave like a normal child. So he has rules when I'm around. I took him to playgroups & toddler classes that no one else was comfortable doing. I take him out to places like beach, park, movies, ice show

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 12:28pm

Hi Dee,

That's a difficult situation to be in for sure and I can imagine that it is quite upsetting as well. To be honest, you are doing exactly what I would suggest. It is an odd behavior for sure, but I think I'd just be ignoring it all together. I know with my own children, it was the best way to deal with behavior when they were younger. Usually they would do something to get a rise out of me (or attention, etc) and ignoring it would eventually lead to the behavior diminishing.

If that's not proving to be effective, how about rewarding his positive words and behavior? Maybe overly exaggerate how much you appreciate his hugs or the caring things he says? Perhaps that will teach him that the positive behaviors attract more attention than the negative ones.

Best of luck to you! I hope you find something that works.

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