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|Tue, 07-03-2007 - 1:46pm|
i have an almost 5 year old son from a previous marriage that lives with me and my husband but sees his father every other weekend. that's the "easy" part.
my husband and i just had a baby who is now 7 weeks old. since the baby has come, my oldest son is having a horrible time adjusting. he loves his brother, you can see it. but he also tries to (subconsiously??) smother him while "hugging" him. i don't want to punish him for that because i feel it will only breed more resentment towards this new baby who is taking away his attention. my oldest has always been the center of everybody's attention. now there are less people around (we moved, my mom died, and now dad has cancer and isn't around much) and this new baby eating up the attention he used to get at home. he just told his father (he's away this weekend) that "at mommy's house everyone is mean to me and not to the baby". this broke my heart.... i will admit, i've been short fused and very overtired. but i always try to make time for my oldest. but i don't let his behavior slide, especially when he is acting out.
my husband and i have tried to talk to him about it, offer one on one time when we can, i've called on some other family members to spend time with him, and i've even gotten books to read to him about being the older brother and the changes babies bring.
i feel awful that my son is hurting so much and i don't know what to do to help him. it's been very stressful around here because my husband has been working 12+ hours a day lately due to a family situation that came up. (thankfully it is almost over... a few more days!!) so it's just me and the boys, with lack of sleep, little to no assistance, no parents of our own to count on (mine and hubby's are dead xcept my dad who is sick). i know my frustration at my oldest son's behavior is not helping his situation at all. what can i do to help him get through this? him saying "at mommy's house everyone is mean to me and not to the baby" is a step for him in getting out his feelings. now what can i do to ease it?