Would this creep you out??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Would this creep you out??
6
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 6:26pm
I was on a Hot Topic message board and I had checked out a posters profile and noticed that she had her first/last name and city and state. I was a little worried about her because a). she is a grandma and her husband is over in Iraq right now and b) she was getting alot of heat from some other posters. I looked her up on people finder and found her phone # immediatley. I didn't want to tell her by posting it so I left a message on her machine to show her how easy it was to reach her. I was super nice and told her that I'm not a crazy person and that I was a little worried about her. I told my husband and he immediatley got mad at me he said "don't EVER contact anyone on the internet" I noticed that she since has changed her profile (got rid of her last name and changed her city/state to just USA). I haven't seen her on the message board since and now I feel really really bad!! I hope I didn't freak her out!! Would you get freaked out?? Now after the fact, I probably shouldn't have done that, what do you think??
Avatar for three_rugrats
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 6:41pm
I think what you did was really nice - but maybe would have done it in email form first. Oh well, after the fact, could have would have should haves. But maybe now you could just send her and email and explain that you haven't seen her on the board and miss her and hope you didn't freak her out that you where trying to be a good online friend and protect her and her family.

Andrea

Andrea aka: Brit
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 6:54pm
I think you were being kind, and it was a nice gesture. I would NOT contact her again. She is probably freaked out by the fact that you went to the trouble of looking her up online, and then calling her. An email may really set her over the edge, and may even get you a harrassment issue. I would just wait it out. You did it out of love for her, so just let the love go. KWIM? Love doesn't need back up or follow-ups, just to exist.

BTW, I disagree with hubby on the internet issue. I have met some really great people online here and in chat, many of which I confide in with just about anything. I DO understand his hesitancy given the situation.

It was really nice of you to look out for her. It's a good thing that your good heart got to her before someone or something else did. I think that was very considerate! HUGS!

Janet =)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 7:18pm
She might have changed her online/board name, but maybe she still lurks about. Maybe you could just post a message to her so it wouldn't be like you reached into her private world to do it.

I think what you did was very nice, and if she IS freaked out a little bit, she's still better off this way - safer at least. Consider it a learning experience for her and for you. Maybe next time you might do it differently - hind sight is 20/20, afterall.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 8:28pm
I wanted to "post" it to her but, I didn't want anyone else to get any ideas and I don't have a way to email her. You guys make me feel better though, thanks. ;0)
Avatar for crackermommaof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 8:36am
I don't know that I would have actually done that (because I'm a coward really.), but I think it was a very nice thing to do. Actually her response was a good one, had she done nothing, it would have meant that she didn't take the issue seriously. It's good to know that there are still people around looking out for each other!

Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 1:26pm
I haven't read the other responses but IMO I think this is what she needed - a jolt to get her to realize how unsafe it is for her to post very personal information on a very public board. She probably wasn't very "internet-security saavy." You were kind enough and went out of your way to make sure to she knew this, and you proved a point. Do I think she's spooked? Yeah I do, esp. if you say she got flack about her posts. But that's okay, don't *you* feel bad. She'll probably come around when things cool down. (Just curious, did you identify yourself when you left the message?)

As for your dh, my dh would say the same thing too, (esp. when I told him I met 2 posters who lives in my area) but in your case it seemed like it was a "one-way street" since you just left a message on the phone.

Hugs

Asia