About to give up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2008
About to give up.
3
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 5:48pm

Hi Everyone,

My daughter will be 3 in July and we have been having the potty fight for a few months. She has shown signs of interest and has even gone on the potty a few times in the past. I've tried stickers, M&M's(but she doesn't like sweets). If I praised her, she wouldn't do it again. If I ignored her for going, she wouldn't do it again. She will tell me when she's "leaked" and when she's pooped. She'll even get all excited and run with me to the potty and refuses to go. I've let her run around naked and she held it for 3 hours before finally going on her potty. Wouldn't do it again after that. I put her in the pull-ups with the cool feel and she could care less, she'll just tell me her butt is cold. Two weeks ago, she took a package of my underwear and wanted to wear them, she didn't want diapers. I tried to put on her Winnie the Pooh underwear but she didn't want that, she wanted mine. So, as strange as this is I opened my package and put a pair on her and pinned them to fit her. Still wouldn't go on the potty.

She is really into Tinkerbell and Princesses. Thursday, I bought her a pack of Tinkerbell and Princess underwear. Today, I told her we were going to give away her Princess diapers (that's what she calls her pull-ups, diapers) and she would have a surprise. I had her help me put her diapers and pull-ups into a garbage bag and she was all excited about it. She helped carry it out the door and when she came in there was her package of Tinkerbell and Princess underwear by the fairy door I set up by our front door. She was all excited and wanted to wear them. I told her no leaking in them and no poopy in them, she has to use her potty. This was at 11...she brought her potty out to the front room and sat on it from 12-2, nothing. She brought her potty back in the bathroom because I had to go. We sat there for another 20 minutes, nothing. She got off her potty, pulled up her panties and I notice, she's holding herself to prevent herself from going. I know she knows and she's ready. She held it for 2 hours by that time.

She then went back in the bathroom and sat on her potty, crying for another hour. Wouldn't come out. I kept going in there sitting on the big potty. Telling her it's ok. Nothing. She keeps telling me she has to go and runs to the potty and won't go. I finally gave up and put her in a pull-up I had hidden since I had to go to the store and wouldn't you know it, within one minute her butt was cold.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She's always had a mind of her own. She's always been she'll do it when she wants to not when you want her to. I have her in her big girl panties again, since that's what she's asking for. She's sitting in the bathroom but won't do anything. What else am I supposed to do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-27-2009 - 5:24pm

welcome mom2skylar


she may be getting to tall for the small potty,see if you can find a way of raising it so her feet are flat on the floor and legs are straight out so she can push easily.


buy her some regular panties,same as her princess panties but no characters,and get about a dozen pair of plastic panties to go over them.


As you told her not to get the panties wet or messy,she is trying to do that,but for whatever her reason,is afraid to go on the potty,so you need to let her know it is ok if she has the plastic panties on(they are far easier to clean)and she will not have to wear them so long as she uses the potty.


get rid of the pull-ups,they are nothing more than expensive diapers,and she knows it.


I hope this helps.


Please keep us posted on her responses.


Many Blessings.


Mac

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2008
Mon, 04-27-2009 - 8:42pm

Thanks Mac. You're right about the pull ups, all that did was make her call them Princess diapers. Today started off kind of bad. I put her in a diaper for bedtime and when she woke up this morning, she was just soaked. Everything she held in yesterday must have come out during the night. She wanted her big girl panties again. So, I put them on her. Every hour we were going to the potty and nothing. She had a little accident in them and I think it might have scared her. I told her it was ok, we'll try again. She had 4 more accidents after that.

Today, Skylar was being the terrible 2 terror she can be. If she could get into it, she did. If I told her no it was a tantrum. She was too quiet in her room and I caught her. I feel horrible, but I lost my patience and yelled at her and put her on the potty. She ended up going on the potty but didn't tell me. I heard her playing with the shampoo that was on the tub and I told her to stop playing and go potty. She started crying and when I went in, she had already used the potty. I feel like a horrible Mom for losing my patience with her, but it had been one of those days with her already. Anyway, I said, "Skylar, you went potty! Good girl." I picked her up and hugged her and I danced around with her in my arms, which she loves. I told her we were going to call Grandma so Grandma could know, which we did. Skylar told her she went potty. My Mom told her she was proud of her. We called Daddy to tell him too. After the calls, I cleaned out her potty and she watched.

About an hour later, I caught her again and I told her she was going on her potty. She sat on her potty and I didn't know if she went or not. Then I hear what sounded like water being poured into the toilet. I went in and she was pouring it from her potty to the big potty, put her potty back together and flushed the big potty. I again picked her up and we did our dance and song and we called an Aunt who also told her she was proud of her. During her bath this evening, she started grabbing at herself, so I put her on her potty again. Again, she went and poured it herself into the big potty. I'm not in there with her when she's on the potty because she doesn't want me watching and I thought me standing or sitting there was making her anxious. I checked to make sure the cup she went in wasn't wet on the outside, like she put it into the tub to fill and pour and it was dry.

I know this could stop tomorrow. That is how she is. Everything is a battle with her. If she decides she's not going to do something she will fight you until she's exhausted. She doesn't ask for her diapers or for her pull ups, not even when she had an accident she only wants her big girl panties, she made that decision last week. When I see her grabbing herself, I no longer ask if she has to go. I tell her she needs to use her potty. I think that was my mistake, asking...because of course her favorite answer is no.

Thanks again, I know I'll be back :)

Kim

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Mon, 04-27-2009 - 9:46pm
Kim, Thank you for the update. It sounds as though your DD had some break throughs today. With my boys it was one night they went to bed after unsuccessful days of trying, and then the next morning it was like it finally all made sense to them and they knew what they needed to do. I am crossing my fingers for you that this is the same for your DD. Please keep us updated on your DD progress.
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