bowel training frustration

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
bowel training frustration
2
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:58pm
Hi - I'm new to this and hoping that someone out there will be able to help - my dd, who is 3 1/2 has just recently mastered going pee in the toilet - the problem is that she still does not have a bm in the toilet. We have had a real problem with her - I have been actively tt since she was 2 1/2, and she doesn't tell anyone including me that she has to go - only since the beginning of this year has she even started announcing that she had to pee - but for the last half a year or so, she runs and hides whenever she has a bm. This makes it incredibly hard to catch her when she is going - so I can't just plop her down on the toilet so that she will learn by letting it fall into the toilet. I've tried the naked approach, which has helped with her going pee in the toilet, but she will either hold it in until she has a pull-up on, or will go on the floor. Even in cloth underwear, she still goes. I've tried rewards - no results, I've tried timing it, but she just holds it in, and I grill her every day about where her poo goes, and she says every time that it goes in the toilet. I've tried getting her special underwear - she still goes in it. This is incredibly frustrating for me since she is so ready for underwear all the time, and I am so tired of having to buy pull-ups. She is to start junior-k in the fall of this year, so I only have the next 5 months to get her completely trained, otherwise she will have to stay at home while all her friends go to school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:16pm
Thanks for the tip - since we're now going into the weekend, I am planning on keeping her in underwear all day, all weekend. Pull-ups have been a convience for me since I work full time and my sitter has too many little ones to watch - however, since the beginning of the year, she has less kids and is able to put my dd in underwear at least part of the day, which has contributed hughly to her success with urine training.

I think perhaps getting her to poo in the toilet has become a game for her - we spent a better part of 15 mins going back and forth from her bedroom to the toilet and to the potty I leave in our livingroom (just in case for emergencies) - she knows how to push my buttons in that I want her to be able to do this (doesn't help that it's bedtime!).

Thanks as well for your link to Dr.Greene's website - very informative - I've added to my favorites!

Will let you all know how the weekend goes (wish me luck!!).

Avatar for cltaytay1997
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:50pm
The problem is the pullups! It's time to make HER responsible for this problem. She knows the poop belongs in the potty. Have her wear underwear full time. Tell her to tell you POOP BEFORE she poops in her pants. If she doesn't, she can clean up. We made poop cleanup very unpleasant. We had a cool washrag and a lecture, then they got to "help" clean up. This is a natural consequence. She'll figure out sooner or later, that it's easier to poop in the potty rather than deal with the mess. If she absolutely demands to poop in a diaper, I would would follow the program on www.drgreene.com.

Carol & Kyle 5, dgc Cain 5, Lyric 3, AShley 3, Spenser 2 1/2 and Gracie 6 mos board leader