DD upset sometimes using the potty

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2000
DD upset sometimes using the potty
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 11:13pm

Hi. I've been potty training my dd who turns 4 in a few days since Aug '09, and unfortunately, I feel like I should have made more progress since then. Well, for the first time, she did pee in the toilet of the Gymboree school skills class 4/30/10 that I enrolled her in since March '10. Haven't really been able to repeat that success in the toilet at home until about a week ago. I figured out that the spoonful ice cream bribe really helped. But then, a few days later it didn't work. So, I put her on the big toilet with the seat modification for little ones like my dd, and most days I do get her to potty with the ice cream bribe, and putting her in panties trick.

I actually tried to be more consistent with putting her in panties since a few days ago. She's had of course a number of accidents. There are times though that I feel guilty, because she seems to keep on wanting me or my dh to hug her towards the end of the potty training. Sometimes, I keep her on for at least 40 minutes, and she doesn't pee or poop. A few times she has peed. When I tell her to stay longer she cries, and then I take her off. And, lo and behold a few minutes later she pees in her panties, and I immediately carry her to the toilet. I tell her that she needs to pee in the toilet, and I know she's listening. Sometimes she ends up crying. I try to tell her at the end that she's doing good, but she needs to do this because she's a big kid now like the Potty Power DVD I show her sometimes.

Am I damaging her self-esteem? I have to admit though, ever since I quit my job as an RN mid-April, I've actually made more progress with her potty training than I had since Aug '09. My dd listens to me more than my dh or for that matter my parents when they had her while I was working 3-11 shift.

It's a little bit harder now, because I'm expecting twin boys Sept 1st this year, and I'm hoping to enroll her into this pre-school by Sept '10.

I know my dd is very smart, and I think she could possibly be trained by Sept '10. However, I don't want to appear too frustrated, which I know my dh and I are. However, my main concern is that I'm damaging her self-esteem by forcing her to go on the potty for 30-40 minutes at a time, and she ends up crying. I do try to distract her during that time by having her draw or having her talk to me, but sometimes she just gets upset.

Any opinions? TIA.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 12:05am

after my struggles and victory i have to recomend the book that saved and taught me to everyone..."oh crap potty training"