Fine Tuning

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fine Tuning
3
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 12:59am

I just recently started potty training my 2.5 yr old son. He's doing really well but I have some questions that I can't seem to get answers for anywhere else, so I'm hoping someone can help me.

Background: He's been potty trained for about 1.5 weeks. He's in underwear all day. Pull ups for nap and night but hasn't soiled his pull ups after the first couple of days. Rarely has accidents (1 in the past 4 days) and poops and pees in the potty. He sometimes tells me he needs to potty, but mostly its me telling him to go potty.

Question #1: When I tell him it's time to potty (generally every 2 hrs) he throws a mini-fit that is usually placated by a 5 min timer. I tell him he has 5 more min and when the timer goes off we are going potty. When the timer goes off, he does go potty but reluctantly. When he's on the toilet, he has a strong stream of urine, so he obviously needed to go, so why does he constantly fight me about using the potty? Is it a control thing? It's not a major issue, but I would like it if he went potty when I tell him to, not 5 min from when I tell him to. Is it because he wants control? Is it that he didn't really need to go? Anyone know the reasoning behind this behavior?

Question #2: He seems to have a fear of using public restrooms. At home he uses the toilet with a "family seat", the kind of toilet seat with a built in child seat that flips up or down when needed. So I would think the transition for him between the home toilet and the public toilet would be pretty easy considering the similarities but he hasn't pee'd in a public toilet. He hasn't had any accidents in public yet either but I've been restricting my outings to 2.5 hrs or less and I always make sure he uses the potty before going outside the house. Does he just not need to go when we're out? Should I stay out longer and hope he will use the public toilet when he really needs to go? Any techniques for getting kids to use public toilets? Should I try a portable potty and how to do I teach him to use one?

Question #3: Pooping in the toilet is still new for him. He goes once a day but insists on being left alone on the toilet. I understand he wants privacy but the last 2 times he's pooped on the potty, he's reached down and touched his poop! Very gross. How do I get him to stop touching? I tell him to not play with his poop. Is this normal? Will he just stop touching or do I insist on being in the bathroom when he poops?

Long-winded. Thanks for reading and (hopefully) replying.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: aeridell
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 3:19pm

Hello aeridell.


I hope I can help here.


Initiating is normally the last stage of the training.


Nopw I will try to figure out the others by number.lol


#1- I would say that he is probably right in the middle of his playing and does not want to stop just to potty.


I also notice that he has a young sister,this also can have something to do with this attitude.


Continue with the 2 hour timer,but from now on, no 5 minute repreave.


Next time you go out,show you buying a few pair of plastic pants in his size,and let him know,that the next time and every time after that,if he wets or messes his regular underpants,he will have to wear )NLY the plastic pants,Either untill he successfully uses the potty three or four times this day,or untill the next day when he can start out wearing his big boy pants untill he has onother accident.


this will need you to watch him so that he does not take them off,and for you to know when he needs changing.


#2- The fear of the outside bathrooms is very normal,There are a number of reasons,one being the accusticks,the background noise can scare them as well as the self-flushing toilets,or the size of the opening in the seat.


If possible,take a collapsible seat with you and use it when needed,also take about three extra pair of underwear and a couple pair of plastic pants and stay out for a nicetrip,after a reasonable time,keep reminding him he may need to use the potty and re-enforce the plastic pants if he wets or messes himself.


After having to wear them for a time,he should start understanding they are not that cumfy,so should get the idea.


#3- As for privacy,this is fine,the wanting to touch the poop is quite natural for many children,one way to put an end to it,is normaly take him to the shower as soon as he is finished and wash him down,letting him know,as soon as he stops touching,he will only need to wash his hand after going potty the same as everyone else.


I hope this may help,Please keep us up-dated on what you try and his responces.


Many Blessings.


mac

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: aeridell
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 1:07am

Hey Mac,

Thanks for your reply. I did implement a couple of your suggestions and they worked perfectly. I put an end to the 5 min reprieve and he stopped fighting me about going to the potty. So that was great. It was pretty instantaneous too, surprisingly. And I started giving him a bath when he played with his poop. It took 2 baths over 2 days and now it's been a few days since he's played with his poop. I'm hoping both of these trends continue.

He's had a couple of accidents since my last post but they've been because I forgot to take him to the potty after 2 hours. So I haven't gone out to buy plastic underwear covers yet. He can generally go the whole day without an accident so I don't think they're necessary yet, although if his accidents increase, I will definitely go out and give those a try.

I do have 1 more question for you that I hope you can answer:

I know this varies, but given my son's steady progress and general willingness to please and learn, how soon can I expect him to initiate potty breaks on his own consistently? Given his last two accidents - when I've forgotten to take him on his 2 hr potty break - I feel like he's just pottying on command and not really learning to be aware of his body signals. Or am I expecting too much to expect him to initiate potty breaks on his own this soon? It's been almost a month.

Thanks for your help.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: aeridell
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 11:36pm

It looks like he is getting the idea pretty well.


Instead of telling him every two hours from now on,set the kitchen timer for the two hours,when it goes off,let him know he must go to the potty and at least try to go,do not make him sit for more than 5 minutes at a time and let him get up as soon as he has produced.


if he does not produce in the 5 minutes,lessen the timer by 1/2 and try again.


Try this first and if he still has an accident after awhile,let him run around the house naked for a few hours each day,this will at least let him see what is actually taking place when he gets those feelings and hopefully he will get the idea.


With what you have said,he may not need the plastic pants at all,and there may not be many more accidents.


Many Blessings.


Mac