Oppositional Boy - Need Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2012
Oppositional Boy - Need Help!
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 3:08am

We have just started potty training our 25 month old son....again.  We are on the exact same path that we were on the first time around a couple months ago. Day one is great, he goes potty on the "big boy potty" and is excited to try and is happy when he succeeds.  Then day two he absolutely defiantly refuses to go on the potty.  It is a screaming, fit-throwing time. We do have some success with simply getting him on the potty, but then he won't do anything.  When he starts peeing on the floor I will remind him to go to the 'big boy potty' and he will scream "No!!" and pull away from me.  He stops peeing at this point.  I will let it go, not wanting to force him, but then as soon as I walk away he starts to pee again, I tell him to run to the potty and he screams no. 

I do want to say, he is definitely ready to potty train, IMO...as well as many other friends and family.  He stays dry for hours at a time, he hates to be wet or poopy, he rips his diaper off as soon as he pees or poops in it.  He also has amazing bladder control, he can start and stop better than I can!  LOL  And I know he knows that he has to pee before he starts because he will stop playing, stand up, look down (to watch the pee come out) all before he even starts to pee!  If this isn't ready to start potty training I don't know what is.

He has always been "spirited"...aka, stubborn!  ;-) He is very independent and has always wanted to do things on his own.  He has always been a little oppositional...if we praise him (even slightly) for doing something it is a 50-50 chance of whether or not he will do it again...or ruin what we just praised him for.  For example...we were working on putting his cup on a table when he was not using it.  He dropped it on the floor, we asked him to pick it up and put it on the table, when he did both my husband and I praised him..."Thank you for making a good choice" "That was a good choice"  "Thank you for helping Mason!" or something along those lines...he looked right at us, swung his arm, and knocked the cup to the floor.  He does these kinds of things fairly often, but usually when he can tell it is something that is important to us. 

I'm not sure what to do.  I know some advice would be to not worry about it, he will do it on his own when he is ready...but knowing him, I really don't think he is going to make the choice to potty train.  If it were up to him he would go nakey and just pee and poo all over the floor.  He doesn't want diapers, but he certainly doesn't want to potty train because its what we want. 

UGHH!  What do we do?  I feel like we need to make it a positive, happy, fun, engaging experience for him somehow.  Thats the only way he will choose to do it.  Me and my husband are out of ideas.  Sorry that got really long, I just wanted to make sure I described 'the case' thoroughly.  Please Help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-1999
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 3:28pm

Hello Masonsmomma,welcome to our board.

I am sorry this has take so long,having problems with some changover at main.

Now,have you tried bribing him?A piece of candy,a small toy for using the potty?

Have you tried getting him to wear the thicker training pants?

As you mentioned,he just pees or poops if naked,so that is out.

How is he at night time?what does he wear to bed?

you may have to start finding a way of getting rid of the disposable diapers to start.

Please let us know the answers to my questions and his reactions to what has been tried.