Potty training HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2005
Potty training HELP!
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 10:39am

I am wondering if anyone has some guidance on potty training my three-year-old son. He turned three in February and we started training him in March. He actually asked to wear undies so I felt like I had to go with it and start. Here's what we've done.

When we started, I used a sticker chart and mini jelly beans. He would get a sticker for trying and one jelly bean for pee and two for poop. He was in undies at home and a pull-up when we went out of the house and for naps/bedtime. He quickly lost interest in the sticker chart and now we just use the jelly beans.

He never really made any progress. He has only actually told us he has to go a handful of times. Most of the time, it is me telling him to "take a potty break." I'd say 70% of the time he follows this direction and goes pee in the potty with no problem. But the other 30%, he cries and whines and tells me he doesn't want to or wants to go later. He has only pooped in the potty twice and I think they were both "accidents."

About a month ago, he started getting really bad and crying a lot when I told him to go. He was having a lot of pee accidents and didn't seem to mind at all when he had wet undies/pants. I didn't want it to become a power struggle so I tried to totally back off. Just put him in pull-ups and told him to tell me when he has to go. I find this very hard though b/c I feel like I am not helping him accomplish this goal. I'm not sure how to mentally "give up" this process. For now I have been still encouraging him to go and take potty breaks but not forcing the issue. If he tells me he doesn't want to, ok end of discussion. And if he has an accident, I try to just be calm and just change him and move on. However, he sometimes even resists me putting a clean pull-up on.

I can't seem to find a motivator that works for him. The jelly beans work

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 12:10am


I was in the same situation as you were. What worked for me was that I used to let him have accedents but in his undies not in pull-ups as in Pull-up they can't really feel the wettness where as if you put him in unides then it will be wet and they will be uncomfortable so that's what worked for me. I did had lots of accedents and some days were good and some were bad. Now he is good with pee and tells me even if he is wearing the pull-up or diaper. My only problem now is his poo he still doesn't tell me for the poo so still working for that. It's been a 3 months for me since I started toilet trainning.

Just be patient and clean him and when he tells you

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Sun, 06-14-2009 - 11:39am
i had the same problem with my son. each child is different when it comes to potty training. he used to pee in the toilet no problem but pooping was a hard thing to get him to do. I learned that he didn't like cleaning himself up after his accidents. I put him in underwear and he had to clean up afterwards. try putting your child in the tub and lettting him wash hisself off. don't let him play. after a while he might catch on that he has to clean himself up and might go on his own in the potty. it worked for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 2:17pm

Hello ecb1992.

cry's idea is a good one,and I will add another idea with this method.

First off,we are going to get rid of the pull-ups and allow them ONLY for nap and bedtime.

Go with the regular underpants and put plastic pants on over them to help contain most accidents and let him feel the yuckyness of the pee running down his legs instead of out the centre of the pants.

You can also start setting the kitchen timer for the approximat time her normally goes and race him to the potty ( letting him win of course).

Now with cry's idea of clean-up,You take him to the bathtub everytime her messes his pants (wet or messy) and once he is stripped down,take your time and rinse him off using cool(not cold) water,and explain to him all the time,that he would be out playing now,if he had used to potty instead of his pants.

Initiating (telling you) is the last step in the training proccess,this will come with time.

Many Blessings.