Wow.. Tough situation!
I have heard and read a lot about older children being a lot more resistant in training. I imagine it would be super frustrating. I guess I will get there in a few years!
A few thoughts that may or may not help:
If he is showing signs of jealousy, plus wanting to be going to pre school then he seems that he wants to be a 'big boy' and using this fact might help. I'd go on and on about being a big boy and maybe changing the reward system slightly if he is bored etc of what you are presently doing. Wrap a toy car or surprise (groovy underpants!! LOL) up in 10 different sheets like pass the parcel and get him to unwrap one by one when he has a success?? I also saw a few videos such as 'potty power', 'elmo goes potty' and some weird japanese poopie cartoon that aim in helping children associate diapers being for babies and underpants for big kids and it looked pretty cool. Look into it, anything may help! Ask him if he wants to be a big boy and then get him to throw all his diapers away himself... forever, get him to help change your daughter with you and explain that he should learn to be able to show her how to go pee pee (or maybe how to sit - could get a little confusing) on the potty and how to stay dry. Praise him all the time for being dry and praise him for all the big boy things he does during the day and when he makes a mess - say NOTHING. Clean it up, change him to dry clothes and give him the little silent treatment (no cross face - just plain nothing) until he is all changed and clean and continue on. He might think, why is mummy not saying 'oh well, don't worry, lets clean it up' or even giving the 'oh nooooo' face! No reaction is the worst for children (especially when they don't expect it) Then, when he does do something good and big boy like, he gets praised again. I dunno!Yikes, I'm all out of ideas. I hope some of these helps. I am totally inexperienced so I don't mind if you think these ideas are silly but sometimes its worth a try.. There is logic to it after all.
Get the little one potty trained when you think its the right time. Explain that girls do pee pee (and poo poo if you like) different to boys if it becomes a problem. Caleb can help show her how to push. It might make him feel like a big boy after all!
Good luck. Hope you receive many many posts!!!!Emma xxx
calebmomma, Hi and welcome to the Toilet Teaching board.
You are in a tough situation. My suggestion is to try a different motivator. Have you tried money as a motivator? A penny for pee and five pennies or a nickle for poop. Money can be a great motivator, and your DS can put it in the bank ans save up to buy himself a small toy. Another motivator is going somewhere that he really loves, a restaurant, a park, a store. Hopefully once you find the right motivator it will become easier. Please keep us updated on your DS progress, and also on your DD when you start with her.
How's your ds doing at daycare? Is he regressing there, too, or only at home?
If he's regressing everywhere, I'd agree your should probably back off for awhile. It could be something as simple as ds going through a growth spurt. My three oldest children never went through this, but my youngest would be dry for months then suddenly go through a couple of weeks of wetting herself constantly. It happened a few times before it stopped completely.
If ds is staying dry at daycare and only regressing at home, it does sound more like a behavioral issue where you need to find what will motivate him to try harder.
Depending on how much money you want to invest, you can get a wristwatch with an alarm (or even a silent vibrating alarm) to prompt ds to use the toilet. Perhaps the novelty would be appealing? You can also try making the toilet more interesting -- putting in cheerios or fruit loops as targets he can sink, or putting blue food coloring in the water that ds can change to green when he adds his pee.
Does it bother ds when he wets himself? What if you were to put plastic pants on over ds undies, to keep the wetness and discomfort against his skin to make wetting himself less pleasant?
If you decide to check for a UTI, can the docs give you a stick-on plastic collection bag like they use for babies?
I'm not sure what else to suggest.
Yes, it does bother him to wet himself if I have him in underwear.