problems w/ 4.5 yr old!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
problems w/ 4.5 yr old!!!
6
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 4:24pm

i just can't take it anymore, i have been working w/ my 4.5 yr old for 1.5 YEARS to try and train her!!! i have tried everything under the sun and she just doesn't care.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 10:05pm

What happens when dd wets herself? Does she alert you, or are you the one to initiate clean up?

If you're able to just let dd sit in her wet clothes (put dd in 1-2 pairs of thick training pants with plastic pants over the top to contain messes), it will allow dd to experience the natural consequence of wetting herself. Either she will become uncomfortable sitting in the urine, or she will get rashes which will become uncomfortable.

If you see that dd is wet, ignore it. Do not make any comment at all about it, even if she has to sit in it for hours. If dd tells you that she's wet, calmly let her know that since SHE chose to wet herself, then SHE needs to be the one to change her clothes and clean herself up.

Right now dd gets to spend time with you when she wets herself. Even if it's negative attention, she's being rewarded by spending time with mom -- doing laundry together, etc. Since it seems that your time and attention is dd motivator, try ignoring your dd when she's wet. When dd stays dry, give her your time and attention, maybe baking together, doing crafts together, painting fingernails, etc.

Crossing my fingers for your success!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 11:15pm

she doesn't tell me when she is wet. i usually find out from going to check on her playing and see her pants.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:08am
I would try the opposite.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 2:12pm

I just bought her ebook:
http://www.ohcrappottytraining.com
and I read the whole things last night...she might be able to help you, as clearly things get much trickier once a kid is over 3. She talks about not giving rewards (other that high fives and verbal praise) and about not reverting to diaper wearing after training begins.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 8:25pm

I know this is the last thing you want to hear,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 12:00pm

i got this book and love it! thank you!

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