3 Year old Daughter with Bad attitude

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
3 Year old Daughter with Bad attitude
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 2:28pm

I was on these boards some while pregnant 4 years ago, but am back now.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Tue, 11-01-2011 - 1:17pm
I don't know about books, but the fact that it only happens around you is a red flag to me. Is she maybe jealous of your relationship with your mom? How do you talk about your mom when she's not around? I've found that the more attention you give negative behavior, the more it occurs.

Have you tried talking to your daughter about her attitude? At this age, it is still so hard to articulate feelings. Maybe she's frustrated about something, and her actions are a way to try and express that. My almost 4 year old is really showing her fanny these days, too. I think it's something about the age. Terrible twos? Hardly. 3 is the hard time.
~CMod Heather Mom of 2, Elisabeth (5) & Rebekah (3)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 11-01-2011 - 2:59pm
Hi there and welcome to the board!

I'm with Heather about red flags that it only happens when you are around. It's odd that she'd have such a turn in behavior.

I know you said that you don't think it is punishable, but if it were me, I would be punishing. My kiddos know that they are expected to treat others in a kind manner. Acting out to the extent that you are explaining would be punishable in our household. Without being punished, how does she know that her behavior is unacceptable?

I know that we all have our own way of disciplining our children so if you really feel strongly that she shouldn't be punished, I would strongly recommend talking about her behavior and why it is unacceptable (really, I'd have the talk no matter if there was a punishment along with it or not). I agree that she's struggling with some emotion or situation and starting a conversation about it may really bring those issues to the surface.

Wishing you the very best of luck! Please keep us posted on how things are going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2009
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 3:21pm
I don't really believe in punishments... That frustrates a child more. But i would say a four years old should be able to understand. Speak to her! If she refuses to listen, warn her... then if not punish her. A child is also a human who at times elders forget to respect. Thats the biggest cause of frustrations in a family.

All the best!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 1:50pm

First off, I wouldn't say that her acting badly around you is necessarily a red sign because a.) children will act up more with their mothers whereas they won't with others b.) being at grandma's house is usually a treat and I know most kids will cooperate for their grandmother more than they will for their mother. c.) this is the age at which most children will try to act out to test the boundaries.

I've got two kids who are only 11 months apart and will turn 3 and 4 in May. Having double the trouble, I've learned quite a few things to help out. There is no fast and quick answer,