3rd Birthday Party - uninvited guest

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2008
3rd Birthday Party - uninvited guest
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 12:50pm

My son’s 3rd birthday party is coming up and I am struggling with my BIL’s girlfriend. She is addicted to drugs, put in jail and in general not good. She stayed with my in laws after she got kicked out of her house and lost custody of her child. Then she took my FIL’s car and crashed it. She never did anything specific to me but I really don’t want her at my home with my 3yr old and baby. BIL brings her to all of my important family functions, ie my baby’s baptism. Also, after I told my MIL that I didn’t feel comfortable a few weeks prior to the baptism with her she handed my baby over to her at the after party! I nearly fell to the ground. The inlaws just accomodate to her because they feel their son needs to be in a relationship but this one is just disfunctional! It is difficult because I don’t want to start anything but I don’t’ want to walk on egg shells for this girl because I think it is completely unfair that she invade my home with her issues. Plus I feel very uneasy with her around my children. We are hoping that BIL and his girlfriend aren’t going to make it so we don’t need to have the conversation but it will come up at the next big event anyway. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 2:09pm

I totally understand how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 11:51am
I totally agree with the previous poster. If she's not causing a scene or showing up drugged out, I think I would just put up with it but make it clear to your other family members that you want her to have nothing to do with your children. UGH! Good luck to you. It sounds like a very uncomfortable position to be in. I hope it all turns out for the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2007
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 9:30pm
I too have some family/friends with questionable "habits". Anyway, when someone plans to come to our house we tell them the house rules..."no weapons and no drugs". most people are so offended that we don't trust them not to bring weopons/drugs into our home. But it is important to us. Anyway, it is your house and you should at least be allowed to set rules (e.g. tell the BIL directly that the girl can't be on drugs, etc.).


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