desperate for help with son!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2008
desperate for help with son!
4
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 9:12pm

Hi, I haven't posted on ivillage in a long time but I am desperate for advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2012
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 10:47pm

My oldest went thru a similar phase, when I started helping with the baby sister (she was 2 years older than my son). She has angel man syndrome which kept him ahead of her in learning. He didn't understand why she was able to get his things, why she seemed to get more attention. There is no easy fix, but keep firm in addressing the what he is doing wrong. I don't know if you reward him when does something good. An equal balance between the two helps. Have him help with his sister. You need to change the diaper see about him getting it for you, it helps for him to be apart of it. That could help with she is getting more attention he thinks she might be getting. It is a slow process, for me I tried not to let him see me cry, if I had to urge I would go to the bathroom. I hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 11:35pm
Hi Aimee,

Welcome to the board! I'm so glad that you've found us. I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having with your son. I wish I had some great advice to share with you but I'm dealing with a bit of this myself. I'm thinking that part of it could be a phase. :(

I would also say that since you've seen an increase in negative behaviors since your daughter was born, he could be acting out of jealousy. My youngest will act out in the worst of ways when I'm busy helping his brothers with something. One thing I might suggest is trying to schedule some time alone with just the two of you. It may help a bit?

And hang in there. You are not a failure at all! We ALL have days like this when we just want to sit down and cry. Being a mom can be so difficult! Keep us posted on how things are going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2008
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 9:07pm

thanx for advice - I do try to get him involved and give him alone time with me... our main prob lately is in the car - refusing to go into car seat. I cant physically get him in there when he resists... he wants to put cds in and play in front seat..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 1:40pm
Hi Aimee,

For time outs I use the same chair in the same location each time. I put my son on the chair and tell him he has 3 minutes for time out (since he is 3). When he gets down, I put him back on the chair without making eye contact or saying a word (so pretty much the Super Nanny method). Once he realizes he isn't going to have a choice but to sit there for the 3 minutes, he gives up and sits. Remember that negative attention is still attention so I try to give him as little as possible when he's in trouble.