I need advice on twins &naps in big beds

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Registered: 03-31-2003
I need advice on twins &naps in big beds
8
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 12:16pm
Hi, I am a lurker here, desperately looking for some advice.

My twin girls are so exhausted ever since we moved into big girl beds, which was about 5 days ago. They are ok at night time, but they are far too wired to nap, and they bother each other, but they are also exhausted and cranky all day.

I have tried to put one down in a playpen in another room, and have the other be in the bedroom, but this didn't work. I am thinking of trying to put one down and then wait until I am sure she is asleep before putting the other one in, but I don't know if this will work either. A couple of times they have crashed on the couch watching videos, but this is not the best scenario, nor is it a guarantee.

Please, everyone, tell me what you did, or have done! This is driving me crazy!

Janina, mom to Jasmine and Chanel, 2 1/2 yo girls

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 1:16pm
Hi...we always love to see lurkers post--lets us know you are out there. Anyway...since I am not a mom of twins, or children close in age, for that matter, I haven't had to experience this..however I can try out some suggestions.

My first thought was the video idea you said you have tried. Instead of saying Naptime, call it quiet time and have them get their pillows, blankets and pick out a movie. Make the room where they are watching it dark and the volume on the tv, quiet. Would be ideal if you had a bedroom where they could go and watch a video b/c then when they were asleep you could tip toe in, turn the video off and close the door.

Another suggestion is to try to put one in bed in their bedroom and maybe the other one in your bedroom, trade off daily so that way one the same one isn't always allowed in mommys bed and vice versa.

Maybe try playing some soft music in their room, again make the room as dark as you can and maybe even let them read a few books...but enforce that they aren't allowed to talk or get out of their bed or mommy takes the books away.

Not sure if any of my thoughts will help, but one way or the other, let us know how things go!

Laura mom to Emily 9.2, Jordan 4.4 and baby #3(EDD 5/25)

Laura SAHMommy to:

Emily 9 1/2, Jordan 4 1/2 and Carys born 5/2/03

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 1:40pm
First off, the girls are probably still adjusting to their new bed situation, so I wouldn't be desperate just yet. Once the newness wears off, they may get back into a reasonable routine. (Yeah, right!)

While I don't have twins, I do have two boys who are 21 mos. apart. They shared a room and when they were little I used to get both of them down at the same time by lying down with them. For some moms this not feasible, but since you were thinking about staying in the room anyway, I thought you might be able to give it a try. Each day I would lay on a different bed, so they each got an even 'share' of mommy. What they didn't realize was that by lying between them, they couldn't see each other and thus didn't keep each other awake talking. (Also, some days we would all 3 nap in my bed with me lying between them.) When they both fell asleep, I would get up and go about my business. I would lay down with them as soon as I got the baby to sleep and thus would actually and hour or so to myself. My neighbors were astounded to learn that I had all 3 kids napping at the same time! This worked until my oldest was almost done Kindergarten and simply didn't need to nap anymore. Then I made him lie down and rest until his brother was asleep after which he got up with me.

When the 'baby' moved into her big bed 2 years ago, she didn't want to nap either, so I started lying down with her. Since her brothers were in school it was especially cool. Everyday I got to put my feet up for 20 minutes or so and I could even nap if I wanted too. When she gave up her nap at Christmastime, I had a harder adjustment period than she did. I missed my nap!


Hope this helps.

Lisa, mom of Jeff 8 1/2, Nate 7 tomorrow!, and Becky 3 1/2

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Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 2:52pm
I also don't have twins but I have recently moved my son to a bed.

When he first started nap taking in his bed, he got out constantly. I stayed by the door (out of sight as it was closed) and everytime he tried to get out of the room, I told him NO. He tried several times then just started playing with his toys, but I made him play in his bed. After a while (it took an hour or so the first day), he ended up falling asleep with the toys in his bed.

Now, weeks later, he goes to sleep without a problem.

I would just tell them that they have to stay in their room, period. You are the mommy, you make the rules. While you cannot make them fall asleep (I think that is impossible without drugs involved :), you can make them stay in their room. Will they cry? Possibly, but they will get over it.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
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Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 4:10pm
Hi Janina. We're always happy to have lurkers post asking a question!

I think part of it is the newness of their beds. When we switched ds over he was so excited and once he fell asleep he slept very well, it was getting him to calm down and go to sleep that was a problem at first. And as with your girls, naps were harder than bedtime. We started inforcing quiet time and I would often lie down with him. I still do that now if he is overexcited or tired and just won't relax into a nap that he really needs. Seperating them at nap time either by putting them down in seperate rooms or you "napping" with them probably would work the best if they are keeping each other up. Quiet time is a good compromise especially as, if they are tired, they will fall asleep giving that opportunity.

Good luck and let us know how it works out.

Dawn, Philip(4/18/99) and Lindsay(2/18/03)

Avatar for jennyjigsaw
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 2:59pm
Thanks so much everyone, for your responses. I really try to get on here more, but the girls are so into being on the computer by themselves lately, and they feel very independent, so I let them, but then I am too pooped at night to get on after they go to bed!

Anyway, I don't have much news. We are still NOT doing naps, but I have been able to luck out and they will fall asleep about 2 o'clock in the van if we are doing errands. I have come to the conclusion that they will NOT fall asleep unless they are confined, or unless they are alone, or unless I am sitting in there making them lie down until they fall asleep (I have not tried this one, but I just don't want to, no fun for me!). They are just too much fun for each other, and they never run out of "games" to play, even in the sparsest of rooms!

So for now we are doing errands around that 2-ish and letting them conk out in the van, or else they get an early bedtime (7:30) if they have no nap. I have borrowed a playpen from a friend of mine, and plan to try to fit a playpen at the end of each of their beds, and those can be their "nap beds". I will let you know when I try to do that, because they really are much easier to live with when they get their sleep.

Anyone know when most kids "naturally" outgrow a nap? I know of 4 year olds who still nap or at least have quiet time, but I think it's in the 3's when most kids seem not to need it any more. I would love to be to this stage soon. I would also love to know if there is a chart somewhere that tells the amount of hours of sleep needed for each age. I know I used to refer to one when the girls were babies, but I don't know if they do one for toddlers, too.

Thanks again for your advice, ladies, you are great.


Janina, mom to Jasmine & Chanel, 3 on July 6!!!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 9:06am
I found a chart with recommended sleep times, but I've seen better. This one does not seem to take into accound that it is highly variable from child to child.

http://www.babycenter.com/general/7645.html

As far as dropping the naps, I know a child who really and truly no longer needed a nap at 18 mos! (I felt so sorry for her mom.) A bunch of my dd's preschool mom's were talking about naps, and it seems that in her 3 y.o class, about half were napping and half not. My eldest napped until he was halfway through kindergarten, my middle until he was 4 1/2, and my youngest dropped her nap at 3 1/2. Some of this was due to the fact that it is difficult to get a child to sleep if a sibling is up. The guideline that I've always used is that if they can make it 'til bedtime in a relatively chipper mood, then they don't need a nap. If they are melting down all afternoon or evening, then a nap is necessary. Some kids get a little grumpy around their usual nap time while they are adjusting to their new schedule (and that may be a good time to try some quiet time.) As long as they get their second wind and aren't behaving as if they are overtired all afternoon then they are probably okay skipping their nap. As much as it stinks to have them give up their nap, one benefit is that you can usually put them to bed earlier!

Avatar for three_rugrats
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 10:43am
okay - first of all my girls are 22 months, 35 1/2 months and 5 years old. my middle is growing out of naps but still will fall asleep on the couch and then it messes up the night time schedule so I still get her to take a formal nap atleast 5 days a week. my oldest takes a rest probably 3 days a week to coiside with her sister because if she's home from school then Jenny doesn't want to sleep either so I get them to take atleast an hour. But when Jenny (middle) falls asleep it usually is for 2 or so hours.

my kids always seemed to require more sleep. At age 3 & 4 about 15 hours a day, 5 years old is about 12 hours day & night, younger I go with about 15 - 18 hours. but like I said my kids get crazy if they don't get sleep.

Andrea

Andrea aka: Brit
Avatar for jennyjigsaw
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 12:02am
Thanks mamalamb, for the chart, it is quite enlightening. Andrea, I used to think that mine "needed" more sleep also, but somehow they seem to be surviving on about 12 hours a day!

We casually were talking about how we haven't had many naps lately, and Chanel suggested that Jasmine sleep in the playpen while she slept in her bed. I had visions of C. throwing clothes into the playpen on top of J., so I mentioned that my friend Monica is willing to lend us her playpen indefinitely, and they were pleased as punch at the suggestion of these as their "nap beds". In fact, they went to sleep talking about how they couldn't wait till tomorrow to have a nap in the playpens! I may have to take out the change table (more stuff in the main area that I have to find a new home for--ugh), but I think I can do it. I'll let you guys know how it goes!!

Thanks, Dawn, for directing me back to my post. It's so weird how it disappeared.

Oh, also, I'm not sure if it was on this board or another one, but someone had a really good idea for keeping dresser drawers closed, and I can't remember what it was. Bungee cords? It was something that sort of tied the handles to each other, I think. If anyone remembers, let me know...

Thanks!

Janina