I need other mother's advice/opinions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
I need other mother's advice/opinions!
5
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 3:54pm

My DS just turned 2. He has always gotten "upset" when he poos in his diaper. I thought maybe he wanted to try toilet training. I introduced the potty & idea through books and conversation. He gets it - he is very verbal but says, "potty for mommy." Then proceeds to go and grab a diaper for me to change him. Okay. So he doesn't want to - no problem, we can wait.


BUT...the upset when he poos in his diaper is getting worse and worse. Last night he hit his head on the coffee table arching his back in protest when Dh picked him up to change him. He doesn't resist diaper changes when he has peed. Once you get the change started, he is fine. Before that tho, it is a COMPLETE meltdown. Screaming, kicking, punching you in the head while you carry him to the change table. What is going on? Why does he get so upset? I've asked him but he doesn't even try to answer me...???


Anyone have any ideas?


Thanks!


Dee


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 9:17pm
Do you think he's just resisting the diaper changes cuz it's cutting into his play time? That's a pretty common thing...I know the PT board has suggestions for this. They suggest putting them in training pants and then every time they pee/poop their pants take them to the shower with cool-NOT COLD water. They say that spending a long
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 7:20pm

Is your ds often constipated, or does he have sensitive skin? Either one could cause pain and discomfort made worse by diaper changing, which could make him respond negatively when he poops.

Even if you can't figure out what is making ds so upset when he poops, you can try creating a positive association with diaper changing, so ds might not react as negatively when he poops. For instance, you can tell ds that every time he poops he gets a treat or a $1 store prize or a new ball or whatever makes your ds happy.

When my kids were younger, they were HORRIBLE about taking medicine. It was always a big battle. The doc finally told me to give them M&M's. At first I thought it was silly, but then I realized that even tho' they still hated the medicine, the M&Ms helped them get over their upset at being held down and medicated.

It eventually got to the point that my sugar-aholic ds started faking ill in the hopes he'd get medicine and candy. He absolutely hated medicine (we later learned he's over-sensitive to flavor), but he was willing to put up with medicine if it meant he could have his much-loved candy! We created a positive association with something negative, so the battle wasn't so great anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 1:24pm

my friend is currently going through this with his almost-2yr old. i could hear him freaking out upstairs as his wife is trying to diaper him after bath. he is sort of potty training but not really (ie. he doesn't like poopy diapers etc and they aren't pushing him either).

kayla is starting to fight me on diaper changes as well. not too much right now but i suspect every child goes through this. because i know what my friend is going through, i've started telling her in advance that i'm going to change her diaper such as "ok kayla, if you go poo-poo i'm going to change your diaper then you can continue playing" or if she's playing and she poops, i will say "ok kayla, i'm going to change your diaper. you can hold your toy while i do it". sometimes she'll resist so i will have everything set up and tell her to come so i can change her diaper. it's those times that it turns into a stare-down but then i will hide my face and play some peek-a-boo which then will make her change her mind and come to me. then i smother her with kisses or tickle and praise her before i change her diaper. most times it works, sometimes it doesn't and she'll try to kick me so i will hold her legs and say firmly "no kicking" until she stops. sometimes i have to do that like, 5 times until she stops.

i think kayla would rather have a choice to get her diaper changed rather than me forcing her which is why i try and give her options or let her think that she's the one who wants it done. don't know if that's the 'trick' but so far it's been working. btw, kayla is 19mos

Photobucket

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Photobucket

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 1:23am

Thanks everyone for the comments. The battle continues...but we had one poopy diaper change w/o incident. I told DS that DH was going to take him outside to play but I had to change his diaper first. He starting walking up the stairs saying, "play hockey?"...hmm...with no fuss and no muss!

So obviously this is a choice and he is choosing to resist. I guess I will try positive reinforcement. When he lets us change a poopy diaper with no freaking - we'll reward him. I really don't like the thought of that tho bc I can see how it might negatively affect potty training down the road?

Today he punched DH's temple when he picked him up for a diaper change. DH nearly lost his temper :(

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 5:09pm

oh, today i wanted to change kayla's diaper and she didn't really put up a fight because i let her take out the things we need to change her diaper (vaseline, diaper, baby wipe etc). that seemed to tickle her fancy and she was happy that she helped. she took out one thing from the drawer andi would ask "ok, now what else do we use?" and she would look around and take it out. then i said "ok, now let's close the drawer and change your diaper! yay!" and she smiled and happily sat down.

this was the first time that i let her do this - actually, she sort of instigated it because she came over to look in the diaper drawer, took out the vaseline and put it on the floor and smiled. that's when the idea hit me that maybe if i let her help me she won't resist as much.. seemed to work so i'm going to try that again tonight.

maybe that's something you can do? if you know he has to get his diaper changed, you can ask him to help you get the diaper stuff ready and then praise him when he does it and maybe he won't resist as much?

toddlers want their independence so i think giving them choices helps them feel more in control and they're willing to cooperate.

hope this helps and good luck!

Photobucket

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Photobucket

<