She won't listen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2010
She won't listen
18
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 7:46pm

My daughter will be 2 in May.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 10:36pm

My daughter is the SAME way...ugh, there are days when I think the good ol days with a wooden spoon can't be too bad. I did find something that works, but I don't think it's a good discipline technique, but it's kind of a funny story. She was very constipated so we gave her a suppository which she hated. Now, any time I use the word "butt medicine" she immediately starts behaving. I know it's not the nicest thing in the world to threaten her with "butt medicine," but it's the only thing that has had any sort of impact on her. (lol I only use it when she's being really out of control like trying to climb the china cabinet)

For my daughter, the best "other" form of discipline was time out in the other room. Just doing the supernanny technique of keep putting her on it until she does the 2 or 3 minutes then redirecting her play somewhere else. It's not as effective as the word "butt medicine" but it works most of the time...


Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 2:42pm

She is so frustrating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 4:17pm
I have a 23 month old boy, and he is the same way.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 6:55pm

Hi,

I'm new here but I wanted to give some advice.

First, you can't really get a two year old to understand what danger really is. Neither can you make her remember to stay away from dangerous stuff. Even if she could understand all this stuff, she's not going to be able to control her impulses enough not to go for it anyway.

But it's not hopeless!

The big key at this age is distraction. You see her heading for something offlimits, think of something much more exciting for her to do - even if it's you pretending to see a birdie on the ceiling!

You say she's strong willed. Well, don't get in power struggles with her unless you have to. Give her choices in everything you possibly can (small choices).

The best way to get a small child to actually hear what you are saying to her is to get down on her level, look into her eyes and speak in a low voice. Shouting she will tune out. But a whisper, she will strain to hear. And keep your sentences short when you're telling her not to do things. "No climbing there. You could get hurt." But give her somewhere she can climb safely.

And, if you possibly can, step up your babyproofing. She will learn how to stay safe eventually but babyproofing will really help her stay safe and help you to stay sane in the meantime.

Rose, loved for life by Meghan and mama to Michael Lloyd (24th May 2005) and Ella Morghan (5th Jan 2008). Co-parenting with André and René.


 SoVT


Lilypie Baby Ticker


preview image


 Cgtx



Rose, loved for life by Meghan and mama to Michael Lloyd (24th May 2005), Ella Morghan (5th Jan 2008) and Jolie Bryna (12th May 2010). Co-parenting with André and René.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 9:56pm

LMAO!!!


I am mainly a lurker on here but I read your post and it just cracked me up! I really needed the laugh so I wanted to thank you! ;)


Sorry to threadjack...

ryanjordan-2.gif iV sig2 1209 picture by melalev
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 10:34am
Thanks :) it makes me laugh too!

Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2010
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:51pm

Hi,
I'm very new here and was really here for gardening! LOL

But I was surfing around and found your message.

This may or may not be of any help to you, but my grandaughter was exactly the same way. Her older brother was a dream-child...with no real issues, but she was turning out to be a huge headache for my daughter. In fact, my daughter was often in tears.

Well, a few months ago one of her girlfriends across a program and it's been a life saver for her. In fact, she started to sell it...it worked so well.

Turns out my grandaughter is not a bad-seed (our big nightmare) but she just needs to be talked to differently than her boy did.

I just called her and they now have a special blog set up all about this one program. And a new video that went up just today. Sometimes I think the universe steps in where it's needed... LOL.

Here's the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzA3AhJ8OC8

Good luck. I know this audio program helped her.

Lynne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2010
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 7:46pm

I am hearing a lot of parents teaching about time outs and redirection. That works for well behaved kids but what you have is a child that thinks she's the boss. You are the parent. Your child should fear discipline from you. When you stay stop they should know immediately that if they disobey their discipline will come swift and sure. Once you reestablish an appropriate parent child relationship the time outs will start to work again. You are the boss. You have the authority and your daughter needs to know that. She will not hate you. She will respect you and when she is running into traffic and you yell stop she will stop. She won't laugh and keep running. I see it happen and I bet it happens to you.

Take back the control. Your daughter will be better off.

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 2:08am

"I am hearing a lot of parents teaching about time outs and redirection. That works for well behaved kids but what you have is a child that thinks she's the boss."

The methods I follow work with the most difficult of children. I have personal experience with strong willed, determined children and this stuff works. Honestly.

"Your child should fear discipline from you."

What does the child fearing the parent accomplish? The child should trust the parent to keep them safe. That trust will grow as the parent demonstrates that they will not hurt their child, but keep them safe.

I agree that authority is important but it can be accomplished without harsh discipline or any fear of the parent.

Rose, loved for life by Meghan and mama to Michael Lloyd (24th May 2005) and Ella Morghan (5th Jan 2008). Co-parenting with André and René.


 SoVT


Lilypie Baby Ticker


 Cgtx



Rose, loved for life by Meghan and mama to Michael Lloyd (24th May 2005), Ella Morghan (5th Jan 2008) and Jolie Bryna (12th May 2010). Co-parenting with André and René.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2010
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 10:32am

A child fearing the parent is not the same as a child fearing discipline from the parent. Maybe fear is the wrong word anyway. My point was that instead of arguing with the child or doing the time out dance. Try something a little more immediate. A swat on a cloth covered butt doesn't hurt but it surprises a child enough that they will listen. By the time you are done with your redirection and time outs the child has long forgotten what the reason was in the first place. You can't plant a seed in a storm. You need to get their attention and tell them exactly what you want them to stop doing and accept no argument.

The poster asked for advise. Do you suggest that she just talk gently to her child while she is playing in the knife drawer or pouring bleach down her throat? I don't think so.

I like your quote by the way. My favorite Dave Matthews Band song has that line in it although I am not sure if he came up with it.

Jessica




Edited 3/3/2010 10:38 am ET by bringtherain

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