Tantrum at Bed Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2008
Tantrum at Bed Time
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 9:51pm
My dd is three in a half and just recently she has started throwing these horrible temper tantrums at bed time. She used to never give us problems about going to bed, infact, as an infant and up to about six months ago she always seemed ready for bed at the same time every night. My DH recently put a gate up at her room that only one of us can open and she literally sits at the gate screaming, crying, kicking the door into the wall, throwing toys out of her bedroom and will scream at any noise she hears coming from us. We only put this gate up because she was constantly running out of her bedroom the minute we put her down and would sit in the corner outside our bedroom door or we would find her sneaking around the house getting into things. We do, however, will open the gate once she has fallen asleep so that she can come into our room in the middle of night instead of crying & screaming and waking our other dd, if she even stays in there long enough to fall asleep. The problem is she has now started to say there is a monster with red eyes under her dresser and the second I tell her it's time for bed she gets very scared and starts with the tantrums about the "monster". So I will let her scream for a little while and then get her because I feel bad if she really is scared of something in her room. Could the fact that she's scared be something that is really haunting her or is it just an escape route to get to us? Since these tantrums, she has not had a good night's rest and has turned into a different child. She is just moody and miserable, and wont eat, everyday-all day long. But allowing her to stay with us also keeps her awake because the only time of day my DH and I get to do anything is at night when the kids are in bed. So this makes us feel like we are restricted to any time to ourselves. She has stressed us out and has me worried. Is this a
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 9:07am

for Logan, its the bears. lol I completely know what you're talking about.... He'll tell me that he's scared... and the bears are going to eat him... I have no idea where this came from... but he's been doing it off and on for the last 6 months...

Is there anything thats changed in your household? I found that the bears came around when DH and I separated this summer. Once Logan adapted.. the bears went away and bedtime returned to normal. Now I think any time something happens that he's uncomfortable with the bears seem to return. Of course any changes in your home would probably less dramatic as ours.. but sometimes its just a simple change in routing or something that can bring it out. Good news is, Logan typically does this for a short period of time and then stops.. and then it returns again..

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Dante_byLovetoday.jpg picture by irishnutmeg


Fall 2010 1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 11:45am

My DD is 3yrs 2 months old and we are going through similar issue. She takes 2+hrs nap at DC, so refuses to develop a early bed time routine. She doesnt say that she is scared, but constantly begs us for more playing time. Whenever we tell her time to sleep, she says "After some time please" and her pleases are so pretty to carry us away to give her play time!! However she behaves well and quiet if we let her enjoy 15mts of more time playing instead of forcing her to bed which ends up

new siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2008
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 2:04pm

Thanks for your replies. Well actually, nothing in our house has really changed. Our DD has followed the same bed time routine for as long as she was old enough to sleep through the whole night. Her bed time used to be by 7 or 7:30 every night, as that is for our other DD, but now that she is a little older I usually wait until about 8 and sometimes 8:30 until I put her to bed. She does not take naps through the day and simply does not want to be away from me, ever. I know that the problem is she is afraid she is going to miss out on something but I feel that a child should have a bedtime and the parent's should enjoy the time they get together once the children have gone to bed. Like I said before, she used to never have issues about going to bed She always took naps until she was two in a half and still always went to bed without a fight.

Our other DD will be two next month, so she is not a new addition and there are not any adjustments need to be made with that. There is nothing new in our home or anything really drastic going on in her life or her father's and mine, so I do not know what change could be causing this.

I just want to know if these tantrums are normal for her age and how do I handle it? Do I let her scream for hours when putting her in her room for bed and just let her fall asleep on the floor? (Which is what we have started doing). Or do I let her lay with us if she is really scared? The problem is once she falls asleep on the floor she is only sleeping there for no more then a couple hours and then ends up in our bed anyway. She is not resting very much and is miserable the whole next day. Should I consider day care for a few hours a day for her because she might not be getting enough fulfillment out of her day? Every time I think she is worn out and will just pass out in bed that night, it never happens. It Always ends up with a fight/tantrum.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 4:27pm

I do have an idea that I got from a sleep expert. If she is getting scared go to the store and let her pick out a stuffed animal that will protect her. Put your shirt (it smells like you) on it, and tell her to stay in bed or you will take it

Holly Snoke <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />