Temper Tantrums I need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Temper Tantrums I need advice
12
Sat, 12-17-2011 - 12:36pm

DS is 3 years old and the temper tantrums have reached a new high. He was rolling around on the floor at Walmart when I tried to pick him up he bit me. We were at the check out line in the middle of the transaction I had half my pin keyed in. He knows exactly when to do it and this is so out of control. We left and went home and I took away his traveling buddy on the ride home. But I really don't know what to do? Using 123 doesn't work,Time outs aren't working putting toys on time out aren't working. He is wild and out of control at home. An angel in school listens no problems. But at home its just us butting heads. If I say go potty he says no and there is screaming. If I don't drag him to the potty he pees himself. If I say its sunny he says its raining and starts screaming about it. Everything is confrontation and a challenge. DD was not like this challenging but not so physical with the biting and spitting and rolling on the floor throwing things. DD just screamed it out.

I really would like to smack his butt but I don't think it would help.

Any advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2007
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 8:15pm
I'm having some issues with my opinionated 3 year old as well. My son has always been a sweet, loving boy who has a MIND of his own. luckily, most of the time he decides to be agreeable, but when he doesn't there is no convincing him to do what you want. This weekend we implemented a new plan. The time out spot has changed to be the bottom step facing the door (so there is nothing to distract him), and using a timer so he knows when it is done. Also, we are carrying poker chips with us and if he acts out somewhere where we can't do a time out, he gets a poker chip in teh jar and soon as we get home he has to do time out. So far, he thinks the poker chips are more fun than punishment, but he's sitting with 4 in his jar (16 minutes of time outs) to be done soon as he wakes up, so hopefully he'll catch the drift.

December Gumdrop 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 2:06pm

I think the part of the problem might be we stopped going to Mommy and me class for the month of December. I can only take him when DD is in class and she has winter break for three weeks. I don't have babysitting so I just skipped the whole month. I spent yesterday playing with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 2:39pm

I don't know why parents are so scared to spank their children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 8:14am
I was just going to mention- my son has been doing this as well lately and it usually happens when he's feeling like he hasn't had his share of attention. I bet you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned he isn't getting that one on one time with you that he's used to. So frustrating but I'm glad you are playing with him alone when you can. HUGS! Hang in there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 10:49am
I try to do more positive renforcement when he does something like put his toys away with out being asked and spent some more one on one time.
But its a big week for us lots of family visiting for the holiday, so I am sure there will be some acting out with all the excitement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 10:56pm
I just wanted to say Im in the same boat....hence the reason I came over to this board. My son was 3 in Oct. So he has been my baby.....until my second daughter was born Dec 1. Everything is an arguement with him, he doesnt care if he gets spanked it just escalates the situation. Im upset bc I feel like we are constantly on him about stuff. Its almost like he enjoys argueing. I think its one on one he needs but honestly he has been a needy child since birth & its like he is insatiable....its never enough. He is so loving to us when we arent fighting :( Hugs to you. I completely understand!
Jill, mommy to Chloe, almost 5, Oliver, 3 & baby Ella born 12-1-11 !
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 11:06pm
I wanted to add that even disciplining with time out causes a fight. Just trying to make him stay in his room is a huge ordeal.
Jill, mommy to Chloe, almost 5, Oliver, 3 & baby Ella born 12-1-11 !
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 7:54am
It sounds like a bunch of us are dealing with the same kind of behaviors. It is so frustrating, isn't it? Did you notice the behaviors escalate when your daughter was born?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 7:27pm

DD is older she is 4 years old. I looked back in my Mommy journal and realized DD had problems at school

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 8:19am
Ugh... I'm so sorry! If it helps, this week has been awful with Landon as well. My DH has been home and so have the older boys and his routine has been all out of sorts. Combine that with toy overload, visits with relatives, and lack of sleep and we've had a nightmare on our hands. I too sent him to bed early and that escalated into a horrid temper tantrum that went on for an hour. The only way I was able to get him to calm down was to hold him tight and rock him until he fell asleep out of exhaustion. Fun times!

I wish I had the answer for you. Like you mentioned, I think that this is an age/stage they go through (and I think it is SUPER cool that you kept a mommy journal!). I've never had a girl so I don't know this for a fact, but it also seems to me that boys are more difficult than girls are at this age as well.

How do you think your son would do with a sticker chart for good behavior? Each time he does something nice, he gets a sticker. Then when he's filled up his chart or reached a certain number of stickers, he gets a prize? My middle guy doesn't respond at all to punishments but he'll bend over backwards for a sticker or other prize. Might be something to try?

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