Three year old...crybaby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2011
Three year old...crybaby?
4
Sun, 06-26-2011 - 12:51pm

Ok, me and my SO are having a huge disagreement about my son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 8:08am
Hi there,

Welcome to the board! What a sticky situation to be in. I'm sorry that you and your SO are not on the same page with this.

I honestly do not think that spanking is the answer. I'm not big on spanking unless it is really warranted but I don't think tears are a warranted reason.

Personally, I tend to lean towards ignoring. It sounds like he's crying or tearing up in an effort to get attention. It is SO hard to ignore, but it may be worth a try. Have you given it a shot before? I would try to ignore when he cries but give him HUGE attention when he doesn't (tell him how proud you are, what a good job he did, etc). Maybe that will reinforce the positive behavior you want him to show while being indifferent to the tears (unless of course the tears and crying are warranted).

Good luck to you! I hope you can come to an agreement on how to deal with this and that you see some progress soon. Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 1:35pm

I never understood spanking a child when they are down (crying).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 2:10am

Hi,

I personally NEVER believe spanking is the solution. I would be part of the ignore team here. When my son cries to get something..or because he didnt get something..it is on the lines of whining. I dont cave to either. I just calmly tell him why and that crying wont change it, and then move on and drop it. I found the more I lingered on it, the more he cried. After a few minutes I can redirect him and suddenly the crying stops. It is hard when you share parenting with another, I would recommend, if you have that kind of relationship, to talk to the dad or caregiver the other 3 days he is with, so you can work together and have a similar game plan to deal with it. Luckily my ex and I always were able to work as a team for my older daughter. she is 16 and we still have to rally and team up for effective parenting. He may be learning different things at his other home that work against success for you when you have him.

Good luck..just some ideas based on my world. lol . :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2007
Sat, 07-02-2011 - 10:45pm
My son tends to be a bit of a crybaby as well. Part of it is my fault as I allow it, but part of it is just WHO HE IS. Anyway, I've gotten rid of a lot of the crying with my 3 yo (he turned 3 in May) by a simple story. I told him the story of the boy who cried wolf. I explained that mommy was not going to belief him when he cries and so that when he has a real problem, i was going to ignore him. The story of course went over his head, but I quickly put it into practice. The next time he cried, i stopped him and simply asked "is this real, or not worth crying over". Then when he said "not real" I made a big deal of it and really encouraged him for stopping to cry. Now, i don't have to make a big deal, i just look at him and he quickly decides "real or not real".
GL

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