Very dramatic 3yo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Very dramatic 3yo
14
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 8:36pm

Ryder is very dramatic. I thought it was bad when he was 1-2 now that he is 3 its horrible.


Everytime we change activities, even with a warning he is hard to deal with. If we have to come in to cook dinner he will say "i'm never going outside again". When we leave a grandmas house he says "i'm never coming here again". He isnt mad at them just very upset/ sad that we are leaving.


I have tried everything to deal with it. Getting down on his level, explaining, warning him that we have to leave/go in. nothing works, he will sometimes cry, scream, hit himself, throw toys (which then he loses).


I am at my wits end. I know I was a hard child & very dramatic I guess this is just natures way of getting back at me=(

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 8:41pm

LOL at your mom.. sorry!!!

((hugs)) We do advanced warning for Logan. If its something big (or just big to him) I'll start talking about it days in advance. Maybe you could try that? Tell him about visiting his grandparents and remind him how before he's visited, left, and then got to visit again? I find back and forth conversations help. Other than that.. I'm really not sure. Hopefully someone else has more suggestions!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 9:10pm

I hear you! I'm very specific whenever we do anything. "We're going to the park, but we can only stay 30 minutes. Mommy is setting a timer, then we will have 5 minutes and then the timer will go off again, and that will mean it's time to go" So, I set the "alarm" on my cell phone. I will start prepping them at 15 minutes out. "the timer is going to go off in 15 minutes.." "The timer is going to go off in 10 minutes..." etc...It helps to give them control

I also tell them AHEAD of time that if they throw fits (cause all of my kids will be dramatic.....usually one at a time, but sometimes it's all of them together) that when they throw fits, it makes me not want to take them places. And then I say, "when you are nice when it's time to go, then I want to take you places..."

It's worked a little..there are still times when we have meltdowns (like today for example), but ....

My 2 year old DS is out of control all of the time...I seriously think he has a split personality...happy and rage....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 7:19am

I do let Ry know when we are going places, he knows if he isnt good for the next week he wont he abe to go to the zoo w/ dc.


The advice to remind him that we have to leave before we even get there is good, I do that for dc, but never thought about anywhere else. He doesnt act that way for dc, but does even for my mom.


My MIL thinks that i'm a bad mom b/c of his tantrums. He lost it when he spent the night with her. Didnt want to leave threw a toy & screamed 'I am never coming to see you again grandma'.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 7:25am

Setting a timer sounds really good, along with the constant reminders.


He has always been very dramatic & his brother is worse. I have told him if he misbehaves he loses things, but he only gets more upset. He is usualy fine in public, its when we go to get him in the car that it gets bad.


The split personalty sounds like both my boys. They will be happy then very pissed within 2 min, so frustrating.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 9:01am

How about the magic numbers 1 2 and 3. These days even Aparna has started testing our patience and starts whining when she doesn't get something. We try to explain to her and if she doesn't listen, then we say sternly - We are counting down to 3 and we start 1, 2 (raising the voice) and 99% of the time it works out.


Also when Ryder starts throwing a fit, how about you do the numbering and then strictly say if he doesnt listen to you by number 3. you are leavng him at Grandmas and going to go home. Dont just say it, start walking away. I am not sure if this will work with boys, but give it a try. This is what super nanny says tool.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 9:59am

UGH! Mara went though phases like this right before Henry was born. I thought I was going to have a really hard time...but then one day she just snapped out of it. I hope that's the case for you!


I guess what worked for us the most during tantrums was telling her how she was such a big girl, and that she knew how to use her words instead of crying and screaming. Then we'd tell her that she had to sit in her room by herself until she could calm down. One day I seriously thought she was possessed! She let out these horrible blood-curdling screams and writhed around on the ground. I just laughed at her and walked out of the room. I think that was her last major melt-down. Just be sure to be consistent-if you're going to do the TO thing at home, be sure to set the same rules/consequences for grandma's and when you're out and about. GL!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 8:47pm

I have tried the 1.2.3. It doesnt work for him. He stands there with the most stubborn look on his face & wont do anything.


Tonight I made dinner, spagetti (one of his faves). He refused to sit down, I told him to sit & eat he said no. I said " you have a choice you can sit & eat or go play in your room." He stood there looking at me. I told him I was going to count to 3 & he needs to choose by the time I got there or he was going to lose his trains. He still stood there & looked at me. I got to 3 & got up & brought him to his room. He started screaming bloody murder - throwing toys. I closed the door & went & ate. He still refused to eat when I was done. He never ate dinner, played in his room then went to bed. I explained to him that he needed to have dinner, but he didnt want it.


I told him one day I was going to leave him behind. The screaming that followed was horrible. He was unconsolable for over an hour.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 8:52pm

The consequences are the same where ever we go. He is usually good in public though. Its when we leave & get to the vehicle that he gets bad.


He has bad phases & better ones, but he has always been dramatic. I can hope he grows out of it soon & Spenc never grows into it.


Thanks for letting know I'm not alone.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 4:32am

You told your child you were going to leave him behind some day and then let him cry for over an hour?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 2:55pm
don't get me started on MILs!!! lol

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