When will the whining stop?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2010
When will the whining stop?
3
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 10:33am
Hi, I have a 3yr old. We've only recently moved. Lately she's started whining a lot. It starts with the dressing-up for school n only ends with the sleep at night. Just can't figure out what it is. Even if we take her out, buy her toys, she'll always be cribbing about something or the other. I don't know if it's the insecurity of being in a new place or is it that she's just growing up and has her own preferences now. I've tried dealing with it as calmly as possible but it just gets to me n it's becoming harder to control my temper. Anyway having the same issues or has any suggestions. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 12:00pm

Hi!

What a pain, I also hate the whining. With my 3 1/2 year old, I have found that a lot of times she doesn't even know that she is whining. So, I have to show/demonstrate to her what I mean. I think it helps her understand what I mean when I say "stop whining!".

I try to be really specific. So, for example, is it that she is complaining, not doing what you want her to do, or is it the tone of voice that bugs you (or all of the above)?

I have tried to show my daughter how to speak - tone of voice. I say a lot of "can you say that in a nicer way?" or " I am ready to talk to you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
Sun, 11-21-2010 - 9:38am

The whining will stop when mom and dad no longer hear her when she uses her big voice or her strong voice to communicate.

Whining is their attempt at control (a usual state for kids, but especially with the new move) try including her choices at every turn: where do you want your bed? what color should we paint? do you want to sit here or over here for breakfast? do you want your spoon or a fork for your meal? seriously, challenge yourself to come up with as many mundane choices for her as you can to give her a sense of empowerment.

When the whining started in our house, we told him we can't understand him when he uses this voice (and mimicked whining) but can only hear him when we hear his strong voice (and mimicked a strong voice.) Sure he still tries, he's a kid - a natural scientist always tests a theory! But we simply ignore that voice, and even say things like 'yikes, what's that in my ear? oh it must be a bug or something' then he either goes off and finds something else to do, or uses his strong voice to which we reply 'I hear you! You asked me with such a lovely voice, it makes me happy to (insert request here)

Good luck, stay strong momma!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 3:19pm

Logan is 4.. and he still whines. However, I notice that its mostly when he's 1) tired 2) hungry 3) going through a transition

Its really the same as all other ages, huh? LOL But I agree with PP's - I find that NOT complying with the whine is the best way to make it stop - unless he is REALLY tired or REALLY hungry. I usually tell Logan "When you ask my nicely so I can understand you, I may be able to help you" - and he'll usually give another whine... then I'll tell him I can't understand when he whines - he'll *usually* ask me normally. I think after you do it for awhile - they get used it... and at the very least, the whining is reduced. :)

 

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