considering donor egg

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
considering donor egg
19
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 10:28am

hi all, my name is Lynda and I have decided to come here to gather some additional information regarding donor egg/IVF. I am 44 years old and have had three miscarriages in the last two years. My OB says it's because I have older eggs and the quality of my eggs are not good due to age. I didn't believe her at first, but now after three losses, i'm coming around. I have recently decided to research the donor egg program. I knew the procedure would be costly, but i'm actually pretty shocked at how expensive it is.

I guess I'm hoping some of the donor egg ladies here will share their experiences with me. The clinic I spoke with has a %78.7 success rate with their donor egg program. If you got pregnant using donor egg, how many cycles/attempts did it take for you to be successful? how did you chose a donor? is the donor annonymous? what are the legalities of the donor trying to claim the child at a later date? any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks
Lynda



 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2005
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 11:02am

Hi Lynda!

I am relatively new here myself and had a difficult time moving to donor egg as well. I'm 40 and have had 3 m/c. But my DH and I are so anxious to have a child and donor egg was the next step and if we wanted to try to have a family I had to come to terms. The ladies on this board helped a lot. With donor eggs you are still the mother just not the biological mom. Every woman on here has said that that child is theirs and they know it the moment they meet for the first time. The donor program is more expensive but the donor is compensated for the cycle. At my clinic it's really only more by the amount of the donor compensation. I have not had a donor baby yet but I can answer some of your questions. My first cycle was a fresh cycle with 22 eggs retrieved. Of those 22 eggs 12 fertilized. We put back 3 and I did get pregnant but it was not a viable pregnancy. We successfully froze 4 of the remaining fertilized embyros and are waiting to try again with a frozen egg transfer (FET) in March. I have seen that most people, not all, but most seem to get about 20-25 eggs and 50% usually fertilize and 50% of those usually make it to the 5 day transfer. The eggs are yours and I don't think anyone can ever "claim" otherwise but I'm not an expert on that. The donor is anonymous and each clinic has a different process for choosing. Some clinics have a database that you search for your match and other clinics, like mine, select matches based on a profile you complete but you have the final decision. We were given details on the donor's medical history, family history, and pictures of the donor as a child. Ultimately you have the final decision. It's a tough decision but if you have a good clinic you will get the best support and advice throughout the entire process. This board is full of amazing women too so feel free to ask any question any time.

Good luck!

Carolyn

TTC #1 since 2005
IUI #1 - chem. pregnancy, IUI #2 - BFN
5/2007 -BFP naturally, m/c 6/07
IUI #3 - BFN, IVF#1 canceled-IUI #4 & IUI #5 -BFN
ET 12/4 - Ectopic. Waiting for levels to go down.

Carolyn

Too many IUI’s, IVF’s and failed attempts to count.

TTC #1 since 2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 1:06pm

Hi there:


I came to donor eggs after 1 unsuccessful IVF with my own eggs (I just turned 41). After only having 1 egg that fertilized, I didn't need to be told twice...


I've done two donor egg cycles one fresh and one frozen. Both resulted in BFPs but I had a m/c the fresh cycle at 8 weeks. The frozen cycle is different than a FET because it is a new technology and so we were part of a pilot progam. In a frozen donor egg cycle, the eggs are harvested from the donor and then vitrified. Then when you are ready, they are thawed and inseminated...allowed to grow and then transfered. I'm currently 7.5 weeks pregnant with frozen donor egg twins.


As for the donor coming back to claim your baby...most donor cycles are anonymous. The donor does not have your info nor do you have theirs beyond a basic profile. They sign away all legal rights as part of the donor process. The only difference would be is if you have a known egg donor (like a friend or relative). In those cases, no clinic will work with you without an attorney who will spell out the contact/rights in your contract.


As Carolyn pointed out, there are many avenues to using a donor and none of them are cheap. You can sign up for a multi-cycle money back guarantee (a popular option on this board where you select your own donor) or you can have an RE's office match you. There are also donor egg agencies. It is up to you. I think the agencies are the most expensive option because they are not associated with money back guarantees and some tend to have customer service issues. The other option is embryo adoption where you can adopt a fertilized, frozen embryo (usally left over from someone's ivf cycle). Those also are expensive but not as bad but the really good agencies require a home study of the potential adoptive parents and neither partner can contribute genetically.


Welcome to the baord. Please let me know if you have more questions. This is a nice place and everyone is super helpful.


Best wishes,


Gabrielle






From Womack DSW

IVF 1# ICSI & AH-BFN 04/08.


After too many failed natural cycles to mention, discover that previously clear tubes have become blocked after surgery to remove fibroids (however, no more fibroids). Decent FSH for 40 year old

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 3:51pm

Gabrielle and Carolyn, thanks so much for responding. And for giving me your stories. I am so sorry for your losses. I know they are very difficult to go through. Gabrielle, twins, wow!! that is awesome! congrats how very exciting.

Thanks also for the welcome. I will be sticking around here soaking up all the information there is to offer. Again I appreciate you ladies taking the time to share your stories with me!!!

Lynda



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 10:15pm

Hi and welcome!


I'm Spencer, currently 21 weeks pg w/ a baby conceived via frozen donor egg (like Gab).

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 11:45am

Welcome Lynda,
I came to DE because after going off BCPs, my cycle never restarted.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 1:29pm

Hi Lynda


Welcome ! I don't stop in often because I have a 5 week old at home right now. I too am a Shady Grove graduate. I heard about it 1st on this board. It's been a long road for me over the last 6 years. We did 7 IUIs and 2 IVFs w/ our own eggs and during that time I had 3 m/c. We then moved on to the 3:1 shared risk program w/ DE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 3:30pm

ladies you have been wonderful. i feel so welcome. i really want to do this, but i have to get my DH on board with it. I haven't broached the subject with him till i have all my facts.

i live in wisconsin. one of the clinics i am looking at has a shared risk program. BUT they charge 26,000 for 4 cycles. if you don't go home with a baby, it is 100% refund of money. However, they said that there was an addtional $10,000 for each fresh cycle that is non-refundable. did your program have that?

i'm going to look into the place you all mentioned. sounds like a nice place with a great success rate. I just want a baby, and I don't care that it's not genetically mine. It would be nice for it to be genetically my husbands though.

Did you ladies have the money saved? did you borrow it? i hope you don't mind my asking.

thanks
lynda



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 4:35pm

Hi Lynda,


Welcome to the board and I am so sorry for all of your losses.


I am an SG Girl too. We are just about to start our first 1:3 shared donor cycle in the shared risk program. All three couples have been matched to the donor and we are just waiting to get everyones cycle sync'ed before starting meds. As you can see in my siggy, we had 3 failed IVF's last year. I'm 43 now and know for sure that this is the only way to go for us. We prefer it to adoption because we I can experience pregnancy and breast feed.

~Christine~


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 5:58pm

Your clinic's program sounds sort of like the deal at my RE's office.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 11:59am

Lynda,
As the ladies mentioned, the 1:3 program aat SG is a great deal because it is all inclusive.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

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