Donor is MIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Donor is MIA
12
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 3:44pm

Well I got a call today I was totally not expecting, and I am totally freaking out. The donor was supposed to go in Fri. morning and she didn't come in, and she called and said she was stuck in a snowstorm in PA. So she was supposed to go in Sat instead, and she never showed, and didn't call. They have left her 3 messages over the course of the weekend and haven't heard from her. We are literally days away from ER. At this point we don't know if she's still taking her meds, if she's okay, if she's on board, but it's not looking good. We actually checked and there were no reports of snow in PA this week, so....

The nurse said she would call me tomorrow after the cycling hours and let me know if she shows or if they hear from her. I am just so sad, angry, and shocked- I can't believe this happened again. That's donor number three and three strikes and you're out. So needless to say if this doesn't happen we're done with this clinic, and maybe done with DE for the time being.

We decided that if this doesn't happen we are going to start over at another clinic, and see if they feel like it's worth trying again with my eggs. The money we would have spent on DE is almost 2 IVF cycles, and maybe another clinc/lab will have better luck getting us viable embryos. I'm trying to see this as a blessing in disguise, or at least as a sign that this is not the right direction for us. Anyway, please just send some prayers that this works out one way or another.

 


Amber



Mason James was born 8/21/10, 8lbs 12 oz after close to 3 years of infertility.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
In reply to: adav75
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 2:52pm
Hi Amber, i replied on the other board too...I just cannot believe this!! I really hope she contacts the clinic today...you DON'T deserve this!

~Kate

TTC May, 2007Initial Diagnosis: MFI4 IUI's w/ Clomid- all BFNIVF #1 June- Lupron protocol. 9 eggs, 6 mature, 4 fertilized, 3 day transfer, 1 x 7 cell grade A= BFNDiagnosis: bad eggsIVF #2 September- Antagon protocol. 6 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized, 3 day transfer, 2 x 8 cell perfect embies, 1 x 5 cell slow-poke.Result: POSITIVE beta on 10/6- 43.7Beta #2 on 10/8: 139, Beta # 3 on 10/10: 382u/s #1 on 10/17: 1 sac measuring 5w3dM/C on 10/24Next up: seeking 2nd opinion of doc who specializes in diagnosis and m/c. Diagnosis: Low ovarian reserve and problem w/ Sperm DNA (DFI)DH on high doses of Antioxidants to help w/ DFI. Results went from 30.7% down to 17.2%! YIPPEEE!!IVF #3 February, 2009- Retrieval 2/22/09-5 eggs2/23/09- Fert report. Only 1 mature egg out of the 5. It did fertilize normally2/25/09- ET- Transfered one perfect 8 cell embie. STICK BABY STICK!!3/7/09- AF Arrived. BFNMay, 2009- IVF #45/14/09- Retrieval of 16 eggs, 9 mature, 7 fertilized5/17/09- Transfer of 4 embies- one 8 cell grade A, one 7 cell grade A, two 6 cell grade B5/29/09- BFP! HCG: 121. 6/1/09 HCG: 407. 6/3/09: HCG 984. 6/5/09: HCG 20536/8/09- early u/s showing gestational sac- no yolk. HCG only rose to 3,698. Not a good sign6/10/09- more u/s and bw6/16/09- no yolk sac- m/c D&CNEXT UP: DE w/ my sister as the donor. Lupron to begin on 8/25/09. Stims started on 9/7/0910/2/09- DE IVF cycle #1- BFNMoving on to anonymous DE and HOPEFULLY cycling in December

~Kate


6-time IVF Survivor


2 m/c's


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
In reply to: adav75
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 1:48pm

Hi Amber,


Even though I replied on the other board, I wanted to extend my hopes and prayers to you that this works out in your favor.

~Christine~


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
In reply to: adav75
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 9:12am

Thanks Gab...Sarah also told me that there was snow in PA, so at least I feel a little better about that. The clinic only has her cell phone number so that is a possibility. But she has done this twice before so she should know the importance of making her appointments or at least checking in...are there no computers or phones where she is?

ARRRRGH....well I guess the moment of truth will be today. I am just praying that they call and say "she came in and we're triggering her tonight."

 


Amber



Mason James was born 8/21/10, 8lbs 12 oz after close to 3 years of infertility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
In reply to: adav75
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:04am

Oh Amber! (((HUGS)))) to you.


I was in PA over the weekend and the western mountains did get a lot of snow. I'm hoping that her cell died which is why she didn't get the call...


I'm so sorry that you have had so much stress with this whole procedure. You've certainly sufffered more than most and I'm hoping that she shows up today and everything goes according to plan. I don't blame you for wanting to change clinics but i'm hoping you won't have to!


Thinking of you!


Gab






From Womack DSW

IVF 1# ICSI & AH-BFN 04/08.


After too many failed natural cycles to mention, discover that previously clear tubes have become blocked after surgery to remove fibroids (however, no more fibroids). Decent FSH for 40 year old

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 9:05pm

Amber, my heart was just breaking when I read this.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 9:03pm

Something very similar happened to us a couple of years ago. We selected a donor, the clinic contacted her, she was ready to go, everything was starting to fall into place... and then she suddenly stopped returning the clinic's phone calls. They tried repeatedly to get in touch with her -- no luck. Guess she got cold feet and didn't have the guts to say so. The clinic was very embarrassed and apologetic and almost immediately suggested an alternative. We were of course very angry and upset, but decided to keep an open mind and read through the file on the woman they suggested. We ended up liking her better than our first donor. Everything proceeded as planned, I got that BFP, and nine months later, a baby.

So that whole negative experience was, in the end, a blessing in disguise.

I will pray that everything eventually works out for you, Amber.

- IVF with DE October 2007
- First attempt, single-embryo transfer - Success!
- DD born July 2008
- Now trying for #2 with FET scheduled for 12/9/09

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:33pm

OK, well that does make me feel a little better. But now I'm worried that she got into a car accident driving home!

Thanks, I hope she resurfaces tomorrow!

 


Amber



Mason James was born 8/21/10, 8lbs 12 oz after close to 3 years of infertility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:00pm

OMG !! This is unbelievable!!! I bet your heart dropped to your feet when you heard. On another note I think i head the PA mountains got about a foot of snow so let's hope that's true. On the other hand -if she does back out, what kind of refund will your clinic give you?? This is horrible.....


I'm praying for you girl.......


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 7:48pm

Amber, this is crazy!!!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2005
In reply to: adav75
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 6:41pm

Amber I am so sorry and I'm really shocked. I don't understand why she would have gone this far to back out? I hope that there is a good explanation and again I'm so sorry to hear this is happening. Please keep us posted.

Carolyn

TTC #1 since 2005 IUI #1 - chem. pregnancy
IUI #2 - BFN
5/2007 -BFP naturally, m/c 6/07
IUI #3 - BFN
IVF#1 canceled-IUI #4 & IUI #5 -BFN
We've been matched! ER 11/29-12/3!!
Carolyn

Too many IUI’s, IVF’s and failed attempts to count.

TTC #1 since 2005

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