I think that if you use a known donor, that donor is considered the baby's "father"... meaning he has all the legal rights and obligations of fatherhood. You could sue him for child support, and he could sue you for visitation. Although this may only be if you are single - if you are married, your husband may be considered the father. A donor through a bank is considered an unknown donor, and has no claim. I don't know if an independent donor is considered a known donor or an unknown donor, though. I'd definitely look into the legal aspects of it - I'm no lawyer, and am repeating things I have read which might be inaccurate or out of date, so I would suggest you double-check what I'm saying.
For myself, I just went through a sperm bank, not only because I didn't want some stranger trying to claim my child, but also because I was concerned about potential emotional issues w/ male friends as known donors. I didn't really look into independent donors.
I prefer using an unknown donor through a well known cryobank (we used Fairfax).
Well, what I read was that the contracts aren't worth the paper that they are printed on, legally. The reason for this is that it's a contract between donor and recipient, but visitation and child support is done on the behalf of the child, who did not sign the contract. Courts will usually hold the position that the child should have a father, so will award visitation / child support for known donors if they look for it (but for some reason unknown donors are legally different). Though it may be different if you are already married, since your husband would be the father. The contracts are more useful as a statement of intention between the recipient and a friend who she trusts to hold to the terms of the agreement, so that both sides know EXACTLY what is expected.
That said, most of the information I have comes from "Single Mothers by Choice" by Jane Mattes, and applies to single recipients of sperm donors. From reading the rest of your posts, it sounds as though you are looking for an egg donor, which might be different legally. The courts don't need to look for a mother for a child, since you will be that mother. I'd still look into the legal aspects of it just in case, especially if you've already found a known donor that you like. Like you said, it's pretty unlikely that a donor will try and claim a child later on; it would just be tragic if that happened.
It's a shame that it has to be like that.
Its sad but true. My husband came here from another country, and he was shocked at how narrow-minded some people here are. Its not something he had much experience with.
I wish I had a mom to talk to about my failed IUI and failed attempts at trying for IVF. My mom would not be supportive, she might even tell me its God punishing me or something.
I'm glad you had support and your boy is beautiful!