Half siblings?(pg ment)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Half siblings?(pg ment)
5
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 9:32am
Hi,
I haven't been on this board for a loooong time, MIA, it seems there is never time to do it:-(
When I conceived my daughter in 2002 on the 2nd try at home DI (she is my third child, the first two were conceived 'traditionally', pre-vasectomy) I came to this board frequently, couldn't have done it without the support of all the great women on this board!!
Life is going well and my little DI miracle is a spunky 4 year old keeping me busy.
Recently I have been thinking about trying to find out about her half siblings (there should be some out there). It is still early because I don't believe she'll be interested to be in touch with/ know about them anytime soon, but it is something on my mind now.
I was curious to see/hear, if any of you have taken any action in the past or are considering it. Where did you start and have you had any success? What happened if you found a match?
After having had trouble to post (couldn't remember my password and member )name... I hope to be back more frequently now!
My best wishes to all,
Elisia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 8:58pm

You are braver than I! Good luck on with all of this. Disclosure has not been an issue for us but trying to find 1/2 siblings would be. It scares the hell out of me and DH. I have looked over on the yahoo sibling registry just for grins and giggles and curiosity but not out of any interest for really wanting to contact anyone.

Being that we have 4 other children and am having another child through DI I just don't see the point in this for our family. I figure she has tons of siblings with different mix of genes lol! I don't think having a 1/2 match on the donor side is important. She has my 1/2 match to her other siblings (#1 from a previous relationship, #2 and #3 bio from me and daddy, then there is her and then #5 a surprise from me and daddy and now #6 with 1/2 match from me and a different donor and finally daddy's oldest daughter #7 from a previous relationship). Hope that all made sense.

After conceiving #6 through the use of a different donor I donated my 2 vials and storage toa lesbian couple. When they initially contacted me they wanted to get to know us and our family for the 1/2 sibling thing. I had to be honest right up front and say that it was not going to be a possibility should they conceive using the donor we used to get #6. I explained the situation and they understood the complications that I/we thought that it would bring into it.

Just my personal experience. I do wish you luck and I do think you are brave for moving forward with this. I hope your DD has a wonderful experience meeting 1/2 donor siblings in the future.

Alex - pg with #6

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:03pm
Hi Alex,
reading your post I think I didn't really put an emphasis on the 'when she is older". I want to have the option for her to get in touch w/ halfsiblings from the donor's side if she chooses to. Somehow I thought it may be better to start searching now and have contacts rather then later, when maybe others have already given up finding half siblings. Does that make sense?
I talked to my sister, who is really my half sister (not that this ever made any difference, we couldn't be closer if we were cloned from the same cell:-) who has a different father than my brothers and I. I asked her how it was for her to know that she also had another father. For her it became important to know who he was and at age 30 she met him and also her half siblings.
About finding any matches, of course I would be curious if there are any physical similarities, traits she doesn't share with me or my side of the family. As for meeting any matches, I don't think we need that now. She does have two sisters, who couldn't be any closer to her if they shared the same genes from their fathers.
It is interesting to read that for you the idea of meeting half siblings is a total no-no. I guess I haven't really thought about it that much because I feel similarly that I don't want to be involved with another family.
I really appreciate your reply to my post, getting input on my thoughts and ideas helps me to think about things before they loom in my way...:-)
I have so far posted only on one website and don't expect anything soon, but should someone reply it is good to be prepared and be able to state what I want and where our limits are.
My best wishes for your family and your pregnancy!
Elisia
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:39am
hello,
i'm pegnant at the moment from DI and located a half sibling when I was in the first trimester (via the donor sibling registry). I just wrote and said that i was pregnant and that in the future I hoped that the children would be able to get to know one another. And left it at that.
I have heard a lot of positive stories from people who have tracked down half siblings for their children...
Good Luck... and report back.
O.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 10:00am
Hi O.
Congratulations on your pg!!
I obviously started later thinking about possible half siblings but I am there with you:
to know that there is someone out there, and who knows, maybe our children will make use of that knowledge later on!
Good luck for the remainder of your pg and my best wishes for a good and healthy birth experience!
Elisia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:18pm

My twins are 12. About 2 years ago I located three half-sibs (they are from the same family). The mom and I exchanged pictures and corresponded a bit. They don't plan to tell their children about 1/2 sibs located until their children are adults (they are currently 12, 10 and 8 years old). I did tell my children about them, and showed them their photos, and it really wasn't a big deal (my twins really aren't interested in them at this time).

You can always take a peek at the donor sibling registry and see if there is a match...then decide what you want to do :).

Lynn