just received the call, sad to say BFN

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
just received the call, sad to say BFN
17
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 2:47pm

Well... so much for wishing and hoping


I want to thank everyone who was pulling for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 4:54pm

I am sorry. I've been through this 4 times already. I just had my last FET a few days ago. I've always had BFN with my own eggs and with DE. I too, believed that I just couldn't go wrong with DE. The fact is, many DE cycles don't work. I don't think 50% odds are that great, that is why I plan to try CCRM (Colorado Clinic) next time I do a DE IVF. They had an 86% live birth rate in 2005 for DE IVF

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 6:37pm

Thanks


I already looked into thre share risk program dont qualify


I will take your advice and think bout it


right now too many hormones and emotions


T


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 8:51pm

I am so, so sorry this happened. Take time to grieve. I know it's hard. Some days I think I just can't do it anymore. 5 years, 3 m/c, 6 IUIs, 3 IVFs and 65K later I just want to give up...then I realise I've come this far and I WON'T give up. This whole process stinks. When you are ready, you have 7 frozen embies waiting. I know a girl that spent 150K and was down to her last frozen embryo and it worked.


Keep picturing yourself as a mom....believe it will happen...that's what I do. I know it will happen, it's just a matter of when God says it will.


Many (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 9:13pm

I am so very sorry!

PLEASE take the time to grieve!!!!! It is so very hard, those evil two weeks that get our hopes and dreams up again. Its hard to explain to people that don't get it.

And someone actually told you that you shouldn't be a Mom?

Get that person out of your life!!!!!

You have 7 left that are already bought and paid for...when you are ready, you can try again. If you figure in the 50/50 - well, you already used the one 50, right?

It WILL work someday, I am a firm believer in that. I wish I could hunt down an old poster, who did even more dIUI's than I did (I did 19)

She ended up doing IVF after stopping ttc for two years to work two jobs so she could pay for it.

And she has beautiful twins!

Big hugs!!

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Avatar for cl_packersrnumber1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 9:22pm

I am so sorry.

jhscalis@wisc.edu

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 10:26pm

Songbird:


Wow , thanks I dont feel too bad now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 10:32pm

Danny:


thank you


I will get back on the DE track again eventually


YOu are an inspiration as well


what would I do without you girls


thanks for caring and being you


T

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 1:16am

The one thing I learned after walking along my path of broken dreams...

there WAS a reason I had to do this, I just couldn't see it at the time.

Did I ever tell you how grateful I was when Danny was born safe and healthy?

They had to give me valium I got so upset - I was in such disbelief that I was given this gift.

And those two nights in the hospital, I didn't sleep...just watched him sleeping, fearful that I would wake up and he'd be gone. That a nurse would come in and take him.

Surely I didn't deserve such a gift!

Those two nights watching him sleep, so soundly and so peaceful...

were the LAST two nights he slept until he was FOUR YEARS OLD.

I am serious...he did NOT sleep through the night until he was four.

And had I been a "regular" Mommy, one who didn't know how hard babies are to have, one who didn't know what a wonderful gift he was...

well, I probably would have thrown him out a window at 3am or fed him to the dogs

(Just kidding!)

But seriously - a "regular" parent? I now see HOW some Mom's get to that point, with a screaming baby on their hands 24/7 for months on end.

I know DEEP in my heart NOW - because I sure didn't know it month after month, AF after AF, frikking CD1 after frikking CD1 - I know now that I am ONLY a good parent because of the path I had to take to GET here.

I would have totally sucked had it been the way "I" wanted it to be...I was 19 yrs old, agreeing to marry a man 10 years my senior who I had known for six weeks. Threw out the birth control pills on our honeymoon.

We would've have been HORRIBLE parents. We would have had a gaggle of brats, my DH would not be a hands on Dad, but instead a Dad that "has to babysit while Mom gets her hair done" once a month Dad.

I didn't mean to go all out there on you....but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

For you, tonight there should be tears and chocolate. Tomorrow some shoe therapy and some jello shots with your best friends.

Then its CD3 again and we are all right here for you!!!!

**big GIANT hug***

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 6:06am
Girlfriend, You are SO right on...your post made me cry.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 9:44am

Thanks


you make me hopefull


T

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