Need positive, yet realistic, feedback

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Need positive, yet realistic, feedback
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 2:20pm

I know that a lot of you ladies have been at this for a lot longer than I have, but I am nonetheless frustrated.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 3:51pm

Welcome to the board :)

We were in a similar situation, where we had been trying for #2 for a year and a half, had 3 failed clomid/iuis and no firm diagnosis (presumed age-related, I was 41).

Unfortunately we had no insurance coverage, so our choice was up to $25,000 for a single shot at IVF w/ my own eggs, or looking at DE.


Powered by
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 6:02pm

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

I wouldn't mind drinking the Shady Grove Kool-Aid, but I'm in Chicago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 6:33pm

Wow, that's pretty amazing about your insurance!


Powered by
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 7:30pm

I too felt like I was perpetually on the wrong side of the percentages for quite a while.

Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 9:28am

So sorry that you have found yourselves in this situation.


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 3:31pm

I agree with the other ladies, the no-frosties just doesn't seem right.

We adopted 11 embies that were unused from a donor cycle in '07

 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 9:57pm

We are in a similar boat, my husband & I have been trying for 3 1/2 yrs, and even though I was only 36 when we got married, I had a very weak ovarian reserve and it didn't work for us - an ectopic, and six failed IUI's.
The bottom line for us was that we wanted to be parents. We looked into adoption, and were dealt a pretty hard reality check -we would likely have to wait several years, and there were no guarantees that the birth mom would choose us, and the only way to increase our odds was to pay upwards of $50K for attorneys.

We also looked at international adoption, and started down that path when I found out about the shady grove shared risk program. When we got the call that it would be 2-3 years for international as well, we paused our application to pursue donor eggs. The $ amounts for adoption vs. donor eggs were nearly identical

Since we were open to having a child that wasn't biologically ours via adoption, donor eggs seemed like a no brainer, it will be my husband's bio, and I get to experience the joys and woes of pregnancy, and have the child from birth. It took 3-4 months, even as current patients of SG, but we are literally on the eve of our first transfer. We are nervous/excited, and know that if this path works out for us, we will love our baby/babies infinitely. I do have a good friend who went through this w/ her 10 year old twins, and I can hear her saying to me - do you know how often I think about the girls not being mine biologically??? ZERO! 99.9999% of parenting happens after the initial conception

Good Luck with your path to parenthood

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:01am

Hi Kimmy. Like all the others who have posted before me, I understand what a difficult decision you are faced with. I just wanted to add that I too do not understand your clinic staff's statement that donor don't produce enough eggs to freeze 50 percent of the time. We just did a donor cycle, and we got 22 eggs, 20 fertilized, 2 blasts

The ticker URL:
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:04pm

I went to my first adoption information meeting last night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:05pm

hi, Kimmy,
I am also in Illinois. The RE that I am working with told me to expect to wait 3-6 months. That was about 2 months ago and still no word. Whom are you dealing with and what is their wait time?

thanks for the info. Good luck with your decision!