New to DE and ?'s

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
New to DE and ?'s
8
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 1:27pm

Hello All,

I am new on this board, my DH and I are seriously considering DE's to achieve our dream of having a child. Basically I have had two failed IVF's of my own eggs and my age is against us and my eggs are of poor quality.

How do you pick a donor? What should you look for?

I am fine with the child being my biological and not my genetic child that might be a good thing. To me as I have looked around this board and I agree it's just like adoptation and that was the next step for us. At least this way I can be a part of this child's life from the beginning.

Also I seen a post on to tell or not to tell. For us it is a not tell issue there are some members of our family that would not treat our child or children the same as my DH's brother's child/children.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, also for anyone who has used DE and gotten pregnant how successful was it and anything else you might want to add.

Thanks,
dsnook2006

<a href="http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"><img src="http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev177pr___.png" alt="pregnancy" border="0" /&g

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 11:29pm

Hi,
I'm also doing IVF with DE soon. You can choose an independent donor, or go through an agency to find a donor. I would recommend finding a proven donor, one who has successfully donated eggs before, that way you know that they respond well to the stim drugs. To me, that was most important of all, since this is all very expensive.

However, donor egg is not like adoption at all. I'm not adopting a child. Someone is donating their DNA to me so I can have a child. My child will never have "belonged" to anyone else but me and my husband. The woman who donates an egg was not, and never will be, the "Mother" to my child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 4:00pm

Hi Everyone!


<>


I was on the IVP Support and Friends site for quite awhile while going thru treatment and finally a successful IVF last July. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage after 10 weeks. I had genetic testing done that showed I have a chromosome inversion and combined with my age, it didn't look like I would have much success continuing IVF with my eggs. In January DH and I decided to use a DE.

Suanne

42 yrs old, DH 41 yrs old

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 11:48pm

Hello Ladies,

I just wanted to put in two cents to this topic because I have already done my transfer. My husband and I have done it all, IVF, several IUI's, natural pregnancy ending in miscarriage and so on. I have gone to all of the top fertility instututes, including Walter Reed, New Jersey IVF and finally Cooper.

We recently adopted Embryo's that were frozen. I did a transfer on April 20th and so far 7 weeks pregnant. This only cost $3000 and I did it from out of state, the cooper institute was fabulous and I hope this is it. We have spent thousands of dollars on all other procedures. It is like adoption, only it does allow us to share the begining of life and pregnancy.

If you want any other info feel free to ask.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:03pm

Hi Suanne -
I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and I are riding the same roller coaster! We have gotten pregnant (naturally) four times with all four ending in m/c during the first trimester. We found out that I have a balanced translocation of chromosome #12 & #17. We did two rounds of IVF w/PGD since we were still given a good chance of finding a "normal" egg. Unfortunately we never got to transfer because all the eggs came back with an unbalanced translocation and would all end in m/c.

So...here we are after deciding to do DE. I started my Lupron on 5/21 and the donor started her Lupron on 5/24. We are looking at a tentative date for ER and ET the week of 6/18.

Please keep us posted as to how things are going for you.

Baby Dust to ALL!!
Cathe

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 4:40pm
Wow! Congratulations! Sounds like a long journey for you......that takes incredible strength and resilience.

Suanne

42 yrs old, DH 41 yrs old

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 11:10pm

Hi Suanne,


sorry to jump on someone's thread but I wanted to say hi. I know you from the iVF board. I too am moving on to DE afetr 2 failed IVFs, 5 failed IUIs and diagnosis of AMA. we are going to do the Shady grove 3 recipients to one donor program with a set fee and 6 fresh tries at DE.


We looked at all kinds of donor sites and I did find the perfect donor but after spending so much $$$ already, we needed somehting more economical. Hoenstly, I'm just so excited about being pg again and actually having a healthy pregnancy and baby that once those eggs implant the fact that i am using a donor just won't metter----not trying to jinx it and put the cart before the horse but I feel really positive about the whole thing this time !!!


Anyway, i'm glad to have found you here. I still hang at the IVF board when I log on.


Good to "see" you here !

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 8:14pm

Hey there! So nice to hear from you. I always enjoy reading your uplifting and inspirational messages. You have really remained so positive through everything.........I am SO HAPPY to hear that you have a new plan. I am not familiar with this option and I think it is GREAT! So you are sharing one donor with 2 other recipients? That should really help with expenses. I am going to use the Integramed shared risk, so that I get 3 fresh, 3 frozen, and 100% money back if we would not bring home

Suanne

42 yrs old, DH 41 yrs old

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 7:03pm

Hello again ladies,

I have an update.....yesterday I went for my official first ob appointment and I found out where the bleeding is coming from. It is an subachroid bleed(not sure of spelling) my ob doc says it can correct itself....hopefully and that it is where the placenta has pulled away from the uterine wall. The IVF nurse told me they call them hematomas. I have not had any bleeding since memorial weekend, but sure would like any information on this if any of you have dealt with it???? I think a couple of you have mentioned to me that you did deal with it....My little bean measured 9 weeks right on track, and h/b is 180.
ob doc says looks great so far......

any words of wisdom????

Kari