New Here--Considering Egg Donation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
New Here--Considering Egg Donation
5
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 9:44am

Hi there! I'm not exactly sure where to begin...I'm Nicole and I used to visit on the 2007 Beach Babies playgroup board a lot. I am 26 with two beautiful, healthy children and now I'm considering donating my eggs to someone who has fertility problems. My only reservation is whether I'll have an emotional response to the donation process. It's something I had considered in the past but was unsure if it would be the right decision or not. Now that I'm putting some serious thought into it, I'd love to have some advice about anyone's experiences with egg donation and IVF in general.

Now that I'm reading what I just wrote it sounds silly and selfish for me to wonder why I would have any reservations about donating, but I guess I'm just afraid that I'll see some child at the mall someday who looks a little like me and wonder if I had a part in that, or that I'll constantly be worried that the child is well cared for...Maybe my brain is just working too hard here, but that's why I'm posting. Please help me calm my fears!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 3:07pm

Welcome!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 7:57pm

Welcome to the board!


I had to smile when I saw your screen name. I'm an Active Duty officer who is also @ Bragg and I am a donor egg recipient. It is a wonderful thing that you are considering and my husband and I (He's also Active Duty) are thankful daily for our donor.


Maybe tellling you a little about what it is like to be a recipient will allay some of your fears. I have been TTC since 2004, the first time I came home from Iraq. It took awhile and another Iraq deployment to finally get serious about fertility testing. I went through IVF in 2008 while my husband was deployed and I produced 10 eggs but only one of them fertilized. I can't begin to tell you how devestating it was. It was even harder to go through it by myself (as I'm sure you are aware how deployments are). I have unexplained infertility...no one knows what caused it. I sometimes wonder about all the vaccinations I have had, but we'll never know.


We turned to donor eggs last summer when I learned about the shared risk program at Shady Grove in MD. I had been wanting to consider it for sometime but the cost of a single donor cycle was prohibitive (especially after we spent 10 grand on IVF, Tricare does not cover IVF). SG has a 6 try, 100% money back guarantee and by that time I had emotionally strong

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 10:41pm
Thank you for your response and the reassurance. I'd like to stick around the board for a bit and gain some inspiration from your amazing stories. I can't imagine the journey you all have been through and I'm hoping that by making an egg donation I can make a dream come true for some family out there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 11:02pm
Gabrielle, your post has brought tears to my eyes and I am so incredibly happy for you and your family, and the twin boys who will bless your lives. Thank you for giving me your insight into the process. From the research I have done, I understand that it is a fairly lengthy process depending on which method is used. The clinic I have been in contact with places a donor with a specific recipient and they coordinate their menstrual cycles before the eggs are harvested so they are not frozen. It is amazing to me how the technology has advanced over the past 30 years and I'm really getting excited about the prospect of donating. I am sure that your experience has been more difficult than I could ever imagine, but I am just so thrilled that you are going to have your beautiful family!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 7:17pm

Welcome, and THANK YOU for considering egg donation! I am pregnant with my first through DE, and it probably wouldn't have happened without DE. Of course it's totally normal to have some reservations, and actually shows you mature and really putting serious thought into this, rather than just jumping in. It's not something to take lightly. And if you decide to go through with the process you will meet with a counselor who will discuss all of these things with you, so it's good to think about and work this stuff out beforehand.

I can understand how you feel- when I was considering using DE I wondered if I would feel disconnected or wonder about every woman who passed me on the street. But now I honestly don't think about it that often. The donor just supplied one cell, just some genetic material, and my body is creating the rest.

And I can bet that in all likelihood someone who goes through all this to get pregnant really, really wants that child, and has the means to provide for them and care for them well. As far as if you will always wonder about them, that is something you have to work out for yourself, but the fact that you have two children of your own should help that. When i was in my 20's I considered donating my eggs and I always felt that I was just giving a bit of myself to help a couple to conceive THEIR child...I never ever thought it would be mine in any way. I guess it come down to what makes a mother? Is it a few cells in a petri dish or is it growing, birthing, nourishing and raising the child.

I won't lie, the process can be grueling. It usually takes about 6-8 weeks for the whole cycle. You will have to take shots, and have bloodwork and ultrasounds every 2 days or so when you start the stimulating phase. The hormones can be tough on your body. But you've had two kids, so I'm sure you'd get through it :)

I wish you tons of luck with your decisions and journey, and no you are not selfish at all, if anything you're being smart and thoughtful about the decision.

 


Amber



Mason James was born 8/21/10, 8lbs 12 oz after close to 3 years of infertility.