Newbie with intro and question

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Newbie with intro and question
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 7:13pm
Hi. Hope it's okay if I join the board. Background info: DH and I have been ttc for 3.5 years with severe mfi, and after 1 failed IUI, we've decided to skip ivf completely and move to donor insemination. It's an easier choice b/c of my intolerance to meds - I don't want to risk a bad reaction to ivf drugs and DH and I both just want to be parents ASAP anyway. I'm a very lucky woman - DH is incredibly open-minded about using donor sperm and has already helped me to narrow down our donors. One thing we're doing is using an open-id donor, which is very important to me.
I still have to make the consultation appt with my RE. I admit I'm a bit scared to make the commitment to donor sperm - I feel like I'm giving up on DH, although he says he's fine with the decision (he's the one who refused to try a 2nd IUI because he thinks it's pointless). How long will this feeling last? I know that once I'm pregnant, we'll both love the child no matter whose DNA he/she has, but I feel like I'm betraying my husband. Is this something that anyone else has dealt with?
I've been amazed at how common it is to use a sperm or egg donor. It helps to know that there are so many others who go this route. Thanks for any input!

Jackie: 25
DH Alex: 27
Married since: 10/29/2004
TTC since: 12/2005
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Avatar for cl_packersrnumber1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 8:48pm
Welcome to our board. Using a donor is so common.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 11:53pm

Hi and welcome!

I'm adopted, so I know first hand that genetics are only a small part of what makes a family.


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