Not sure where to go from here

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Not sure where to go from here
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 6:29pm
I am 43, hubby is same. We did our first round of IVF with my own eggs when I was 39. I was very lucky when the very first fresh IVF cycle worked just as I turned 40 with a BFP. I didn't totally realize at the time how very lucky I was. I went on to have a successful twin pregnancy (they transferred 3 day 5) and my twin boys were born at 39 weeks weighing in at 7lb7oz and 6lb6oz. We had on frozen embryo remaining which I just had transferred and unfortunately ended in a BPN. I did not think it would devastate me this much. I am thrilled to have two wonderful boys, but very much want one more child in our family. Now I realize that 3 years later IVF with my own eggs will probably result in failure, so I can either throw in the towel, adopt or try donor egg IVF. I planned on going the donor egg route if IVF #1 did not result in success. I am concerned that I go through all this again just to be heartbroken. The thought of someone else's egg has never bothered me one bit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 7:51pm

((hugs)) I'm sorry this cycle didn't work out for you. Have you had your follow-up appt with your RE? I don't know all of the specifics, but can't they tell from lab work whether you have a good shot with your own eggs? Sorry I don't have a whole lot of information to offer.


Community Leader
Registered: 08-01-2002
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 8:12pm
Congrats on your twin boys. As far as any advise, that is a tough one. I know all too well how hard the disappointments can be. There is no guarentee with donor egg either. But if you was anotehr baby it may be worth trying.

Good luck to you. I hope to see more posts from you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 8:15pm
I'm sorry your FET wasn't successful. I had my first dd with a natural conception but then struggled with secondary if. We decided to move to ivf, but financially it made more sense at age 41 to do donor egg. We worked with Shady Grove in MD and went through their shared risk program. Our cycle was, I believe, SG's third with frozen eggs. We transferred 2 embryos and got abfp on the first cycle :)

I think de is a great option and having had a successful ivf cycle, you're probably a great candidate. If you're on the east coast, I highly recommend Shady Grove. We traveled from CT to MD for our cycle.

Good luck with whatever you decide. This is a fantastic group to hang with if you decide on de!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2010
Sat, 06-25-2011 - 5:13pm
I have other bio children as well. I tried for 3+ years after the birth of my son to try and conceive another one, 3 ivf's and 6 iui's later and no luck. I also used SG (but I do live locally) and had success on the first try with a fresh cycle de. We did the shared risk 6 cycle 1:3 program with a gurantee take home baby. It was more $$$$ but the guarentee was worth it for us.

Best wishes on whatever you decide. And if you do decide to choose de, then we will be here to share your journey:)
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 4:59pm
Sorry your transfer did not work out. We did 4 failed IVFs then adopted, now we are using a known Donor for #2. I have no issue using a donor since I have an adopted daughter and know biology is not a requirement in parenting. Talk to your RE about egg quality but I would seriously consider a donor at this point. It's so hard to have repreated failed cycles, why put yourself through that if you are truly ok with using a donor? Adoption is also a wonderful, amazing option.
Cheryl, Mom to 3 year old Aeryn via adoption, TTC since 2003 and finally pregnant via Donor Egg!